Monday 15th October 2007
Applications: 42 Rejections: 1 Replies: 9 (8 if you count human)
I was really excited this morning. Until this point, the whole enterprise has been rather anonymous. Sending the initial e-mail, receiving a response, I could hide behind the computer. Today was going to be my first human vocal interaction! I had to call Lesley-Anne from tenuk, as she wanted to discuss my application further.
I was actually quite nervous about the whole affair. Admittedly, I did not actually want their job, but I got the same feelings of nervousness when you are applying for a job normally. I was going to do it at lunch time. It would have helped if I had remembered to bring the telephone number into work with me. So after driving home to get the number from the answer machine at lunch time, I psyched myself up to take the plunge.
Breathe in for five, and out for seven...
Voicemail.
Apparently Lesley is in the office, but she has lots of projects on today, so she will return my call when she is available.
I did not hear back from her today, but look forward to discussing my application with her tomorrow.
Anyway, The Manchester Jobs:
Dear Kirsty
Can I sell Manchester?
Yes I can!!!
Please find attached my CV for your perusal.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
This is becoming a habit now, and I think that it may be costing me job interviews.
CIRQUE DU SOLEIL!!!
They are looking for people who work in:
RIGGING
AUTOMATION
STAGE CARPENTRY
ELECTRICS
In Macau in Asia! How fantastic? They offer a full 18 days paid time off a year, and the interviews are taking place in New York and London (I hope they pay the travel expenses though).
Dear Madam/sir
I read with a considerable amount of interest that you are looking for rigging, automation, stage carpentry, and electrics for your Venetian resort in Macau.
I can not pretend to have any experience in these areas, but I would like to apply for the positions anyway. After all, Carpenter by name, carpenter by nature!!!
Please find attached my CV for your perusal.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Anyway, the chain smoking spider is back tonight. Note to self: I will need to check the pink recycling bags to see if the council will accept tiny empty spider medicine bottles, and their packaging; she must be storing them down the back of the picture rail somewhere.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Sunday 14th October 2007
I woke up this morning with blue lip disease.
Don't panic, dear reader, this was due to the fact that I celebrated a fantastic victory for the England rugby team over France in the world cup semi final with a bottle of Des Trois Seigneurs, vin de pays L'aude. That is ironic, Alanis Morissette. England 14- France 9, and what a game? I wondered how many times I would need to go around the M25 to get such a score in The Norbert Dentressangle v Eddie Stobart game.
The landline telephone in my house is in the lounge. As discussed earlier, I smoke, and I therefore spend the majority of my time at home in the dining room (with my spider benylin friend). I rarely go into the lounge. This means that I check the answerphone messages about once a month. This is not good for urgent matters, I agree, and I apologise to any friends who have yet to receive a returned call.
However yesterday I heard the dulcet tones of Lesley-Anne Ryan from tenuk! She would like me to call her to discuss my application further. Are these people mad?!? I applied to them on the 9th October with:
Dear ten
I would love to be part of your revolution!
Please find attached my Curriculum Vitae.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
And they want to discuss me being their Marketing Operations Manager? Well I will have to call them tomorrow at lunch time. I am slightly nervous about this, and I do not know what I am going to say, but we will see what happens. I see it going a bit like this:
Lesley-Anne: Hello tenuk, Lesley Speaking, how may I help you?
Me: Hello, I am just returning your voice mail message, my name is Ian Carpenter, and I have applied for your jobs advertised in the Guardian.
Lesley-Anne: (papers rustling in the background) Oh yes, which job where you applying for: it was not clear from your e-mail.
Me: All of them.
Lesley-Anne: But the jobs are very different, Marketing Operations Manager, Operations Director, and Analytics Manager are very different roles. Do you have any experience in any of these areas?
Me: No, sorry.
Lesley-Anne: Could you please stop wasting my time?
Me: Yes, sorry, bye -bye.
I will let you know how it all turns out tomorrow evening.
Anyway the next job:
Can you sell Manchester as a World-Class city region?
I don't know, can you? Not wanting to get all Ross Noble about it, I had images of actually selling Manchester as an object. You know when you have to move a piece of turf on your lawn, you kind of edge it with one of those crescent shaped lawn edgers, and scoop it up with a spade. I had the images of going around the outskirts of Manchester (this might take a while), with said lawn edger and literally picking Manchester up and selling it. This would need some quite heavy lifting gear, I would imagine.
Let's see.
I woke up this morning with blue lip disease.
Don't panic, dear reader, this was due to the fact that I celebrated a fantastic victory for the England rugby team over France in the world cup semi final with a bottle of Des Trois Seigneurs, vin de pays L'aude. That is ironic, Alanis Morissette. England 14- France 9, and what a game? I wondered how many times I would need to go around the M25 to get such a score in The Norbert Dentressangle v Eddie Stobart game.
The landline telephone in my house is in the lounge. As discussed earlier, I smoke, and I therefore spend the majority of my time at home in the dining room (with my spider benylin friend). I rarely go into the lounge. This means that I check the answerphone messages about once a month. This is not good for urgent matters, I agree, and I apologise to any friends who have yet to receive a returned call.
However yesterday I heard the dulcet tones of Lesley-Anne Ryan from tenuk! She would like me to call her to discuss my application further. Are these people mad?!? I applied to them on the 9th October with:
Dear ten
I would love to be part of your revolution!
Please find attached my Curriculum Vitae.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
And they want to discuss me being their Marketing Operations Manager? Well I will have to call them tomorrow at lunch time. I am slightly nervous about this, and I do not know what I am going to say, but we will see what happens. I see it going a bit like this:
Lesley-Anne: Hello tenuk, Lesley Speaking, how may I help you?
Me: Hello, I am just returning your voice mail message, my name is Ian Carpenter, and I have applied for your jobs advertised in the Guardian.
Lesley-Anne: (papers rustling in the background) Oh yes, which job where you applying for: it was not clear from your e-mail.
Me: All of them.
Lesley-Anne: But the jobs are very different, Marketing Operations Manager, Operations Director, and Analytics Manager are very different roles. Do you have any experience in any of these areas?
Me: No, sorry.
Lesley-Anne: Could you please stop wasting my time?
Me: Yes, sorry, bye -bye.
I will let you know how it all turns out tomorrow evening.
Anyway the next job:
Can you sell Manchester as a World-Class city region?
I don't know, can you? Not wanting to get all Ross Noble about it, I had images of actually selling Manchester as an object. You know when you have to move a piece of turf on your lawn, you kind of edge it with one of those crescent shaped lawn edgers, and scoop it up with a spade. I had the images of going around the outskirts of Manchester (this might take a while), with said lawn edger and literally picking Manchester up and selling it. This would need some quite heavy lifting gear, I would imagine.
Let's see.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Friday 12th October 2007
Applications: 32 Rejections: 1 Replies: 9 (8 if you count human)
From: Patrick - ACM
Sent: 12 October 2007 09:06
To: Ian Carpenter
Subject: RE: Job
Hello Ian,
Thank you.
We would like to meet Whisky in order to see if we have a suitable position for him.
Can he travel alone?
Please advice
Thank you
Patrick Meier
Head of Global Sales
www.ac-markets.com
50, rue du Rhône - 1204 - Geneva - SWITZERLAND
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
Patrick is head of Global Sales in a Swiss bank. He must get quite a few e-mails in his day. I sent my e-mail last night at around 11 o'clock. And he has responded by 10.06 am the following day (add an hour). This is the best response that I have had so far. So I need to respond, to thank him for taking it all in the right spirit.
Dear Patrick
Thank you so much for your response today, it really did make me laugh.
You may have guessed that I might not be taking this too seriously. I have a project to apply for every job in the Guardian Newspaper on the 29/9/07.
Please see the following link: http://guardianwork.blogspot.com. I hope this gives you some idea of what I am doing.
Coincidentally, I am in Geneva on the weekend of the 27th of October. If you have looked at my CV, and would like to have a beer somewhere, it would be very funny to have a meeting.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter and Whisky
A couple of friends of ours had the idea of going to Chamonix for the weekend around three weeks ago. I agreed, before I saw the Viaduct Egratz that leads up into the mountains (see above I am not good with heights). So I think we may be staying in Geneva on the Saturday night.
Anyway, after all that excitement I also received:
Many thanks for your email.
I will be out of the office until the 15th October. If your query is urgent please call the office on 0208 871 9797.
Kindest Regards
Hannah
From The British Ecological Society.
Dear Mr Carpenter,
Please find attached the job description for the Lead Case Manager role.
(See attached file: Lead Case Manager Jul 07.doc)
Kind regards,
Sam Ha
Human Resources Team Administrator
From the Health Professions Council.
End of page two.
Page three looks a lot more inviting than the others. There are large adverts, so it should not take too long to apply for these jobs...
Theatre Royal Plymouth are looking for an Education Manager, a Community Engagement Manager, and a Young people's programme director.
Dear Jane
Thank you for your advertisement in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
I would like to apply for your positions advertised. I am passionate about the theatre and the community,
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Applications: 32 Rejections: 1 Replies: 9 (8 if you count human)
From: Patrick - ACM
Sent: 12 October 2007 09:06
To: Ian Carpenter
Subject: RE: Job
Hello Ian,
Thank you.
We would like to meet Whisky in order to see if we have a suitable position for him.
Can he travel alone?
Please advice
Thank you
Patrick Meier
Head of Global Sales
www.ac-markets.com
50, rue du Rhône - 1204 - Geneva - SWITZERLAND
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
Patrick is head of Global Sales in a Swiss bank. He must get quite a few e-mails in his day. I sent my e-mail last night at around 11 o'clock. And he has responded by 10.06 am the following day (add an hour). This is the best response that I have had so far. So I need to respond, to thank him for taking it all in the right spirit.
Dear Patrick
Thank you so much for your response today, it really did make me laugh.
You may have guessed that I might not be taking this too seriously. I have a project to apply for every job in the Guardian Newspaper on the 29/9/07.
Please see the following link: http://guardianwork.blogspot.com. I hope this gives you some idea of what I am doing.
Coincidentally, I am in Geneva on the weekend of the 27th of October. If you have looked at my CV, and would like to have a beer somewhere, it would be very funny to have a meeting.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter and Whisky
A couple of friends of ours had the idea of going to Chamonix for the weekend around three weeks ago. I agreed, before I saw the Viaduct Egratz that leads up into the mountains (see above I am not good with heights). So I think we may be staying in Geneva on the Saturday night.
Anyway, after all that excitement I also received:
Many thanks for your email.
I will be out of the office until the 15th October. If your query is urgent please call the office on 0208 871 9797.
Kindest Regards
Hannah
From The British Ecological Society.
Dear Mr Carpenter,
Please find attached the job description for the Lead Case Manager role.
(See attached file: Lead Case Manager Jul 07.doc)
Kind regards,
Sam Ha
Human Resources Team Administrator
From the Health Professions Council.
End of page two.
Page three looks a lot more inviting than the others. There are large adverts, so it should not take too long to apply for these jobs...
Theatre Royal Plymouth are looking for an Education Manager, a Community Engagement Manager, and a Young people's programme director.
Dear Jane
Thank you for your advertisement in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
I would like to apply for your positions advertised. I am passionate about the theatre and the community,
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Thursday 11th October 2007
Applications: 29 Rejections: 1 Replies: 6 (5 if you count human)
Cheese and onion crisps: brilliant.
GOOD NEWS FOR THE SPIDER LOVERS!
The world's first chain smoking spider has made a return tonight. I think it must have had a bit of a cough, and was probably laying off the fags for a while. Perhaps it took some spider benylin. (There are other spider cough medicines available: The honey and lemon spider lemsip capsules come highly recommended).
Afghanaid want a UK Director. See above, I can really not apply for this job, for now.
Brad Insight are looking for a Research Supervisor and Research Executives.
A confident and approachable manner is critical in this role and familiarity with database systems would be an advantage.
I am fairly confident, and I hope approachable. I am familiar with databases; I know that I do not understand how they work.
Dear Susan
I read with some considerable interest the advertisement that you placed in The Guardian on the 29/09/07.
As you can see from my attached CV, I can research. I can also supervise research. When I was at university, I used to watch the keen students in the library quite a lot.
I hope that you will consider me for either position.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Oops forgot to attach the CV...
It would have helped if I had attached my CV!!!
Kind regards
Ian carpenter
I am never going to get the job now.
The British Ecological Society are looking for a Policy Officer.
The position offers an exciting opportunity for you to use your knowledge and experience of policy to develop the BES's role [good punctuation] as an advocate for ecological science.
Gulp...
Deadline for application was noon today. I am only a few hours late so here goes...
Dear Madam/Sir
I am late for applying for your position advertised in the Guardian dated 29/09/07. I really do apologise, but I have had a lot on my plate recently.
Are you still looking for a Policy Officer, or have you appointed one this afternoon?
I have attached my CV for your perusal, but I do appreciate that I am late in applying and that you may use it to mop up office spillages.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
SKI jobs want mountain people.
Ski Jobs: Knowledge is Powder.
Fantastic!
Knowledge is powder!!!!
I am not going to apply for any of their jobs, as I am not good with heights; therefore mountains are probably not a good idea. Besides there are literally thousands on the site and I would never finish the quest. Thank you SKI JOBS, but no thanks. Good pun though.
Alliance supporting community action on AIDS in developing countries. See above.
This next one looks the ticket.
ACM Advanced Currency Market SA.
What is an advanced currency? I thought the new twenty pound note was pretty advanced with its purple hue, but I think they are talking about something else here.
Fluent in English
This was in bold, so I must be on to a winner.
Experience in selling financial products
Erm, I did work in a bank for ten years.
They want a photo, a CV and a covering letter.
Dear Patrick
I am writing regarding your advertisement in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
Your advert asked that I send a photo. I have attached a photo of my Mum and Dad’s cat Whisky. I hope that you enjoy it!
I have also attached my CV, and I hope that this letter is counted as a covering letter.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Applications: 29 Rejections: 1 Replies: 6 (5 if you count human)
Cheese and onion crisps: brilliant.
GOOD NEWS FOR THE SPIDER LOVERS!
The world's first chain smoking spider has made a return tonight. I think it must have had a bit of a cough, and was probably laying off the fags for a while. Perhaps it took some spider benylin. (There are other spider cough medicines available: The honey and lemon spider lemsip capsules come highly recommended).
Afghanaid want a UK Director. See above, I can really not apply for this job, for now.
Brad Insight are looking for a Research Supervisor and Research Executives.
A confident and approachable manner is critical in this role and familiarity with database systems would be an advantage.
I am fairly confident, and I hope approachable. I am familiar with databases; I know that I do not understand how they work.
Dear Susan
I read with some considerable interest the advertisement that you placed in The Guardian on the 29/09/07.
As you can see from my attached CV, I can research. I can also supervise research. When I was at university, I used to watch the keen students in the library quite a lot.
I hope that you will consider me for either position.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Oops forgot to attach the CV...
It would have helped if I had attached my CV!!!
Kind regards
Ian carpenter
I am never going to get the job now.
The British Ecological Society are looking for a Policy Officer.
The position offers an exciting opportunity for you to use your knowledge and experience of policy to develop the BES's role [good punctuation] as an advocate for ecological science.
Gulp...
Deadline for application was noon today. I am only a few hours late so here goes...
Dear Madam/Sir
I am late for applying for your position advertised in the Guardian dated 29/09/07. I really do apologise, but I have had a lot on my plate recently.
Are you still looking for a Policy Officer, or have you appointed one this afternoon?
I have attached my CV for your perusal, but I do appreciate that I am late in applying and that you may use it to mop up office spillages.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
SKI jobs want mountain people.
Ski Jobs: Knowledge is Powder.
Fantastic!
Knowledge is powder!!!!
I am not going to apply for any of their jobs, as I am not good with heights; therefore mountains are probably not a good idea. Besides there are literally thousands on the site and I would never finish the quest. Thank you SKI JOBS, but no thanks. Good pun though.
Alliance supporting community action on AIDS in developing countries. See above.
This next one looks the ticket.
ACM Advanced Currency Market SA.
What is an advanced currency? I thought the new twenty pound note was pretty advanced with its purple hue, but I think they are talking about something else here.
Fluent in English
This was in bold, so I must be on to a winner.
Experience in selling financial products
Erm, I did work in a bank for ten years.
They want a photo, a CV and a covering letter.
Dear Patrick
I am writing regarding your advertisement in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
Your advert asked that I send a photo. I have attached a photo of my Mum and Dad’s cat Whisky. I hope that you enjoy it!
I have also attached my CV, and I hope that this letter is counted as a covering letter.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Wednesday 10th October 2007
Applications: 23 Rejections: 1 Replies: 6 (5 if you count human)
We thank you for your interest in tenUk and will be in touch shortly.
Kind regards,
HR at tenUK
Thanks ten
Please visit our website where all our current vacancies are listed and updated regularly
www.mdx.ac.uk/jobs
Recruitment
Thanks Middlesex University.
Does anyone have a name?
Anyway, I was in London today and nearly got run over by a Police car. I was strolling along the Bayswater Road, the sun was shining, and I was heading for Lancaster Gate tube station. I could hear a siren in the environs, and had a good look around to make sure there was none heading my way. And then it came round the corner. I was smack bang in the middle of the road. I thought that my time was up.
You know on Scooby Do, when shaggy does that legs moving but not moving forward thing? I did it!!! I was actually running on the spot, waiting to be hit by a speeding police car. All's well that end well. I made it to the other side of the road, but I did cause some amusement to the diners in the restaurant on the corner.
Bad news for spider lovers. It looks as if chain smoking spider is no more. Two nights on the trot and she has not come back.
Essex has been infested with Blue Tongue Disease. Seriously, if ever a disease does what it says on the tin, that is it. What a fantastic name for a disease!
Farmer: What has he got vet?
Vet: He has a blue tongue.
Farmer: Is it serious?
Vet: Yes, he has blue tongue disease.
Farmer: Oh.
If only every other disease was as brilliantly named. I mean BSE, or Bovine Spongiform encephalopathy. What a useless name that is. Who knows what symptoms you are going to get with that? Only if you know some animal adjectives will you know that bovine relates to a cow. Spongiform, well what form does a spongi take?
Chicken pox? No, itchy red spots that you have to scratch until you hurt disease: much better.
So all in all, I congratulate the person who discovered blue tongue disease, a disease well named.
Anyway, on that note the health professions council are looking for a Lead Case Manager (x3) and Hearings Manager (x1). Was there really any need to put (x1)?
What does a lead case manager do? Do you have to manage cases made of lead?
Dear Madam/Sir
I was intrigued by your job vacancy in the Guardian dated 29/9/07.
Could you please tell me what is involved in managing cases that are made of lead? Is there some kind of protective suit that needs to be worn?
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
The Merlin Housing association want a communications officer. No e-mail address, so will put to one side for the moment.
ST PAUL'S CATHEDRAL!
Oh dear closing date 5th October.
Applications: 23 Rejections: 1 Replies: 6 (5 if you count human)
We thank you for your interest in tenUk and will be in touch shortly.
Kind regards,
HR at tenUK
Thanks ten
Please visit our website where all our current vacancies are listed and updated regularly
www.mdx.ac.uk/jobs
Recruitment
Thanks Middlesex University.
Does anyone have a name?
Anyway, I was in London today and nearly got run over by a Police car. I was strolling along the Bayswater Road, the sun was shining, and I was heading for Lancaster Gate tube station. I could hear a siren in the environs, and had a good look around to make sure there was none heading my way. And then it came round the corner. I was smack bang in the middle of the road. I thought that my time was up.
You know on Scooby Do, when shaggy does that legs moving but not moving forward thing? I did it!!! I was actually running on the spot, waiting to be hit by a speeding police car. All's well that end well. I made it to the other side of the road, but I did cause some amusement to the diners in the restaurant on the corner.
Bad news for spider lovers. It looks as if chain smoking spider is no more. Two nights on the trot and she has not come back.
Essex has been infested with Blue Tongue Disease. Seriously, if ever a disease does what it says on the tin, that is it. What a fantastic name for a disease!
Farmer: What has he got vet?
Vet: He has a blue tongue.
Farmer: Is it serious?
Vet: Yes, he has blue tongue disease.
Farmer: Oh.
If only every other disease was as brilliantly named. I mean BSE, or Bovine Spongiform encephalopathy. What a useless name that is. Who knows what symptoms you are going to get with that? Only if you know some animal adjectives will you know that bovine relates to a cow. Spongiform, well what form does a spongi take?
Chicken pox? No, itchy red spots that you have to scratch until you hurt disease: much better.
So all in all, I congratulate the person who discovered blue tongue disease, a disease well named.
Anyway, on that note the health professions council are looking for a Lead Case Manager (x3) and Hearings Manager (x1). Was there really any need to put (x1)?
What does a lead case manager do? Do you have to manage cases made of lead?
Dear Madam/Sir
I was intrigued by your job vacancy in the Guardian dated 29/9/07.
Could you please tell me what is involved in managing cases that are made of lead? Is there some kind of protective suit that needs to be worn?
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
The Merlin Housing association want a communications officer. No e-mail address, so will put to one side for the moment.
ST PAUL'S CATHEDRAL!
Oh dear closing date 5th October.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Tuesday 9th October 2007
Applications: 19 Rejections: 1 Replies: 4 (3 if you count human)
There comes a time in any endeavour, when you need to take stock. P G Wodehouse does this so brilliantly in his farcical novels. He gets to a point where he has to let everyone know what has happened thus far. So, although I have not had any upper class idiots stealing a cow creamer, I still think that I need to know where we are.
I have reached the bottom of the first page, and what have I learned so far?
1. There is an organisation called the Zygos Partnership.
2. Should I be wasting the time of well meaning charities?
3. The traffic in the south east is pants.
4. The Norbert Dentressangle v Eddie Stobart game.
5. I have discovered a new chain smoking spider. Although on this note, there is some concern. The spider did not appear tonight. I hope that she has not died of spider lung cancer.
6. I may have upset Marike Dippenaar, as I have not had a response from her yet.
7. The NHS use a computer to reject possible applicants and they can't spell application.
I think that sums everything up so far, so shall I continue?
ten- join the revolution.
ten are asking me to join a revolution! Are they are allowed to do this in a national newspaper? I'll bring my mate Che along for the interview, and Karl Marx can be my referee.
Ok ten, what are we going to revolutionise? Are you concerned with the race to the bottom? Are you against the war? What is it that we are set to revolutionise, because whatever it is I am in.
'We are an award winning company with a passion to make a real difference to averting climate change and we are building a first rate team.'
Right...
Three jobs:
1. Marketing Operations Manager: You will love the challenge of managing a sophisticated marketing plan.
2. Operations Director: You should have a demonstrable track record in managing a high quality service delivered across a wide range of functions.
3. Analytics Manager: You should be a real data junky.
A real data junky? Do I now live in America?
Anyhoo, I need to visit their website http://www.tenuk.com//GreenRecruitment.aspx
Dear ten
I would love to be part of your revolution!
Please find attached my Curriculum Vitae.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Middlesex University have brought this challenge to one of its inevitable conclusions. They would love me to be their Marketing and Recruitment Manager, or Marketing Administrator. However:
'Closing date 8 October 2007'
That was yesterday. Blimey you have to work quickly in this job application market. It was probably not helped by my three days off crisis of conscience thing. Should I apply anyway? Well, why not?
Dear Middlesex University
I have missed the deadline for your two jobs in the Guardian dated 29th September 2007, sorry.
Are you still looking for people?
Kind regards
Ian carpenter
That is five jobs that I have applied for today: Good work, I reckon!
Applications: 19 Rejections: 1 Replies: 4 (3 if you count human)
There comes a time in any endeavour, when you need to take stock. P G Wodehouse does this so brilliantly in his farcical novels. He gets to a point where he has to let everyone know what has happened thus far. So, although I have not had any upper class idiots stealing a cow creamer, I still think that I need to know where we are.
I have reached the bottom of the first page, and what have I learned so far?
1. There is an organisation called the Zygos Partnership.
2. Should I be wasting the time of well meaning charities?
3. The traffic in the south east is pants.
4. The Norbert Dentressangle v Eddie Stobart game.
5. I have discovered a new chain smoking spider. Although on this note, there is some concern. The spider did not appear tonight. I hope that she has not died of spider lung cancer.
6. I may have upset Marike Dippenaar, as I have not had a response from her yet.
7. The NHS use a computer to reject possible applicants and they can't spell application.
I think that sums everything up so far, so shall I continue?
ten- join the revolution.
ten are asking me to join a revolution! Are they are allowed to do this in a national newspaper? I'll bring my mate Che along for the interview, and Karl Marx can be my referee.
Ok ten, what are we going to revolutionise? Are you concerned with the race to the bottom? Are you against the war? What is it that we are set to revolutionise, because whatever it is I am in.
'We are an award winning company with a passion to make a real difference to averting climate change and we are building a first rate team.'
Right...
Three jobs:
1. Marketing Operations Manager: You will love the challenge of managing a sophisticated marketing plan.
2. Operations Director: You should have a demonstrable track record in managing a high quality service delivered across a wide range of functions.
3. Analytics Manager: You should be a real data junky.
A real data junky? Do I now live in America?
Anyhoo, I need to visit their website http://www.tenuk.com//GreenRecruitment.aspx
Dear ten
I would love to be part of your revolution!
Please find attached my Curriculum Vitae.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Middlesex University have brought this challenge to one of its inevitable conclusions. They would love me to be their Marketing and Recruitment Manager, or Marketing Administrator. However:
'Closing date 8 October 2007'
That was yesterday. Blimey you have to work quickly in this job application market. It was probably not helped by my three days off crisis of conscience thing. Should I apply anyway? Well, why not?
Dear Middlesex University
I have missed the deadline for your two jobs in the Guardian dated 29th September 2007, sorry.
Are you still looking for people?
Kind regards
Ian carpenter
That is five jobs that I have applied for today: Good work, I reckon!
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