Friday 30th November 2007

I received a phone call at 9.30 this morning at work from my parents.

My Uncle Glyn died last night in his sleep. He was only 59 years old.

It shocked me, to be quite honest. It was completely unexpected. I am very upset.

Tom Stoppard in Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are dead (1999:64) voices through Rozencrantz:

'We have no control. None at all...Whatever came of the first moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one, a moment, in childhood when it first occurred to you that you don't go on for ever. It must have been shattering - stamped into one's memory. And yet I can't remember it. It never occurred to me at all.'

'For all the compasses in the world, there's only one direction, and time is its only measure.'

Time is indeed its only measure, and it was too short for my Uncle Glyn.

So I am going to raise a glass to him tonight. I didn't see him very often, but I miss him.

Thursday 29th November 2007

That says it all.

Wednesday 28th November 2007

Applications: 90 Rejections: 5 Replies: 28 (27 if you count human) + Bonus Job x 3! Withdrawn applications: 1


Please find attached the picture of my orbs to put on your blog

Kind Regards

Ghost hunter

Brilliant.

I am currently away from the office. I will respond to your email when I return on Thursday, 29th November.

Regards
Sue Thorne
HR Director
Please be aware of Brooklands Group Limited’s terms and conditions,
which may change over time: www.brooklandsgroup.com/terms.html

No administration tonight, phew.

I spent the day stuck in various traffic jams around the East End of London. They were doing some gas works outside Aldgate East Tube Station. All very well and good, but it took me two hours to get to Shoreditch. Why did I drive?

Anyway, after meeting with a representative from the water board, it was decided that rather than fix my low pressure in a block of flats that I manage, he would go off to speak to his area manager. Great. Thank you very much.

The A13 back to Basildon was pretty poor too. There was not a single Nobby or Stobby.

Anyway, on with the jobs.

Marcus Evans want International Sales Executives:

'To succeed at marcus evans you will require:

Excellent written and verbal conversation skills.

In addition to the above marcus evans will provide:

International transfer opportunities to Asia, Australia, Africa, Europe, and America both for short term'

Both five places? Where are their written skills?

Dear Recruitment Manager

I quote ‘ref SR09’.

I am writing regarding your positions advertised in The Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I realise that I am applying almost two months late, it is a long story.

Anyway, I would like to apply for your positions. I have a long history in sales, and I have also lived in mainland Europe for a couple of years.

I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

Researcher/Assistant

'Very Intelligent, quick, flexible, accurate, media-literate person wanted for part-time research'

Dear Caroline

I read with a not inconsiderable amount of interest your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I am fairly intelligent, I am quite slow though, I am flexible (apart from my back), I am quite accurate, and I am media-literate (I do read, listen, and watch several programmes).

Am I the sort of person you would be interested in?

I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

Pickering Chatto, ABD 8/10/07.

The Scottish FA have said that they would prefer a Scottish person for their job.

Tuesday 27th November 2007

Applications: 88 Rejections: 5 Replies: 27 (25 if you count human) + Bonus Job x 3! Withdrawn applications: 1


Dear Ian

Thank you for your application for the above position. Regretfully the vacancy has now been filled, but your interest is appreciated. Best of luck for the future.

Kind regards
Carol

Carol Parsons
PA to Vivien Hepworth
Chief Executive
Grayling Political Strategy


That was nice.

She wished me all the best of luck for the future. I think it was the picture of the bowls final that put her off though.

Administration over.


Good news! I received my first Christmas card today. Well, I say Christmas card; it was more of a Christmas Post-it note, from Sacha in the office. It is not even December!

So on with the jobs.

Senior Press Officer for CIPD:

'What does the future of work look like? How can firms win the war for talent? Are migrant workers the answer to the skills shortages firms face today? What role do flexible working, diversity, employer branding, pay and pensions have to play in motivating people at work?'

Interesting.

I have heard of this new craze for branding.

Some people, for some reason, have taken to getting themselves branded with hot irons. That is fair enough if you are doing it to yourself, but to brand your boss? I ask you.

Anyway, closing date was 8/10/07.

The Brooklands Group are looking for a Circulation and Marketing Manager:

'Responsibilities will include planning and executing retail and added value promotions as well as subs renewal and acquisition programmes. He/she will be creative, literate and numerate.'

I guess you might have to be literate if you are planning an acquisitions programme.

They offer:

'Generous basic salaries
Five weeks' holiday
Travelcard loan scheme
Bupa private medical insurance*
Stakeholder pension plan*
Free chocolate on Fridays!

* Medical insurance and pension benefits apply from six month anniversary of joining date.'

Ah, but the free chocolate is from week one!

Dear Sue

I note with renewed interest your advertisements in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I would like to apply for all three positions advertised. They were:

Circulation and Marketing Manager
PR Manager (magazines, events, corporate)
Sponsorship Manager

Please find attached my CV for your perusal.

I would be grateful if you could clarify one thing. Why do you have to wait six months for the medical and insurance benefits, whereas you get the free chocolate immediately?

I only mention this, because I was in Waitrose over the weekend, and they had a bar of chocolate that was £6.50. £6.50 for a bar of chocolate?!?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

There has been some political scandal today over alleged donations given to the Labour Party by David Abrahams, through third parties. £700,000 apparently.

It got me thinking about the old drinking song Father Abraham.

David Abrahams
Had seven hundred thousand pounds
Seven hundred thousand pounds had David Abrahams

And he didn't laugh
And he didn't cry
All he did was go like this...

Maybe not. Unless someone would like to finish it?

Emma in the office highlighted another news story that may have been some interest to me: The Scotland Manager, Alex McLeish has vacated his position for Birmingham City.