Tuesday 5th February 2008
Happy Super Duper Tuesday day everyone!
Apart from being super duper Tuesday, it is also pancake day! Traditionally, this is where everyone grabs whatever left-overs they have stored in their larder and chucks it all in a pan before lent.
Well metaphorically, that is what I have been doing tonight. Following last night's catastrophe, I have been cobbling together various bits of Guardianwork that I have saved around my computer, and chucking it all into one Bill Gate's pan; Microsoft Word.
I think that I have managed to retain most things, phew!
However, due to the general panic, I have missed a couple of e-mails over the weekend:
Now bearing in mind I applied with:
Dear Christian
I stubbed my right toe on your advert in The Guardian dated 29/9/07.
I notice that you were looking for a Executive PA to manage the affairs of a dynamic couple. I currently jointly manage the affairs of my partner Nicky and I.
Nicky is more of the ideas person, and I tend to be the “do-er”. For example, yesterday we were in the supermarket, and Nicky realised that we needed a lemon to put in the piece of trout that I was going to have for dinner. She came up with the idea, but I was off straight away to retrieve it. (Incidentally, they had been moved from their usual place, and put on the end of an aisle with the pancake mix, as it is Pancake Day on Tuesday.)
I hope that I am the type of person that you are after. I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
To receive:
Hi Ian - I'm afraid this position was filled some months ago
many thanks
Christian Gibbon - Practice Manager
Was a little disappointing.
Workshop places left for February 23rd
Why not make 2008 the year your travel writing really takes off?
Full details are below, plus feedback from the last workshop. If you can't make this one bear in mind that the next workshop will be on March 29th.Pllease ignore this mail if you have already booked or are in the process of booking.With best wishes PeterFeedback from the January 2008 workshopAny aspiring travel writer would find your course very usefulindeed, dealing as it does, with the whole process from initial ideathrough research to the writing itself and, of course, the most importantaspect - getting it published and paid for.
THANK YOU!Richard OlivierI really enjoyed the workshop. I thought your style and content wereabsolutely spot-on. I will definitely recommend the workshop tofriends and colleagues.I expect to have a travel article published in the next 2-3 months!
Graham MooreMany thanks; I found the day very very useful,
very focussed, and covering an immense amount of material. My chances of getting my travel writing published have increased a very great deal.Excellent value for money.
Sue WallThanks for a most inspiring workshop
Peter!Gina BaksaExcellentRebecca Hughes-DaviesMoney well spent!
Gus MacDonald Keen to see your travel adventures in newspapers and magazines? Why not attend the ____________________________________________________________TRAVEL WRITING WORKSHOP
Hmm.
Dear Ian
We understand that you have recently applied to British Airways for the position of Leaders for Business 2008, UKLHW631.
We are writing to advise you that we currently have full time vacancies for Commercial Business Analysts, UKLHR595, based at London Heathrow, which may be of interest to you. For further details of these vacancies and to apply please visit our website, www.ba.com/careers.
Thank you for your interest in British Airways.
We look forward to meeting you.
Yours sincerely
BA Recruitment
Hang on, this feels like the NHS positions.
Apply Online
Have you applied for this role within the last 12 months?
No.
Apply Online
Thank you, please move on to the next question.
Do you have the right to live and work in the UK indefinitely and without restriction?
Apply Online
Thank you. You will be asked to provide proof of your unrestricted right to live and work indefinitely in the UK should your application go through to the next stage. Please move on to the next question.
Do you hold an EU passport with unrestricted worldwide travel or a passport issued by one of the following accession states:- Estonia Hungary Latvia Lithuania Slovakia Czech Republic Slovenia Cyprus Malta
YApply Online
Thank you. You will be asked to bring in your passport should your application go through to the next stage. If you do not hold a European Union passport we will not continue with the assessment process. Please move on to the next question.
Are you able to provide names and addresses of referees covering 5 years continuous work and/or academic history?
You wrote to me, for pity's sake.
Anyway all submitted, and let's move on.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Sunday 3rd February 2008
As discussed yesterday, the six nations Rugby started. They have blatantly nicked my idea with the Four Nations Lorry Championship. I will have to be careful about putting more of my ideas on here.
The Mining Institute’s motto is Moneo et munio; Everyday is a school day. Yesterday I learnt about the fairly tasteless Sharon Fruit. Moneo et munio means I advise and defend, and is also the heraldic motto for the Elphinstone Family.
Their job was to be found on the Guardian Jobs website (The Mining Institute, not the Elphinstone Family). I did a quick search:
Found 11906 jobs
That would be ridiculous; I could be here for ever.
I could not find their job for Fundraising and Education staff.
Unicorn were looking for an Education Manager. APD Friday 5 October 2007:
‘For further information visit www.unicorntheatre .com or send an A4 sae (65p) to: Stage Door, Unicorn Theatre, 147 Tooley Street, London[.]’
So you have to apply to the stage door?
‘Dynamic couple requires experienced executive PA to manage their schedules and affairs, both business and private…www.tlastudio.co.uk’
Hmm.
Dear Christian
I stubbed my right toe on your advert in The Guardian dated 29/9/07.
I notice that you were looking for a Executive PA to manage the affairs of a dynamic couple. I currently jointly manage the affairs of my partner Nicky and I.
Nicky is more of the ideas person, and I tend to be the “do-er”. For example, yesterday we were in the supermarket, and Nicky realised that we needed a lemon to put in the piece of trout that I was going to have for dinner. She came up with the idea, but I was off straight away to retrieve it. (Incidentally, they had been moved from their usual place, and put on the end of an aisle with the pancake mix, as it is Pancake Day on Tuesday.)
I hope that I am the type of person that you are after. I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
END OF PAGE 28!!!!!!!!!
The final straight.
I watched the Norbert Dentressangle versus James Irlam rugby match this afternoon. I will admit that perhaps their game has more sponsorship potential than mine. You can write RBS as many times as you want on that great big pitch.
The Nobby national anthem is so much better than Stobby’s.
As discussed yesterday, the six nations Rugby started. They have blatantly nicked my idea with the Four Nations Lorry Championship. I will have to be careful about putting more of my ideas on here.
The Mining Institute’s motto is Moneo et munio; Everyday is a school day. Yesterday I learnt about the fairly tasteless Sharon Fruit. Moneo et munio means I advise and defend, and is also the heraldic motto for the Elphinstone Family.
Their job was to be found on the Guardian Jobs website (The Mining Institute, not the Elphinstone Family). I did a quick search:
Found 11906 jobs
That would be ridiculous; I could be here for ever.
I could not find their job for Fundraising and Education staff.
Unicorn were looking for an Education Manager. APD Friday 5 October 2007:
‘For further information visit www.unicorntheatre .com or send an A4 sae (65p) to: Stage Door, Unicorn Theatre, 147 Tooley Street, London[.]’
So you have to apply to the stage door?
‘Dynamic couple requires experienced executive PA to manage their schedules and affairs, both business and private…www.tlastudio.co.uk’
Hmm.
Dear Christian
I stubbed my right toe on your advert in The Guardian dated 29/9/07.
I notice that you were looking for a Executive PA to manage the affairs of a dynamic couple. I currently jointly manage the affairs of my partner Nicky and I.
Nicky is more of the ideas person, and I tend to be the “do-er”. For example, yesterday we were in the supermarket, and Nicky realised that we needed a lemon to put in the piece of trout that I was going to have for dinner. She came up with the idea, but I was off straight away to retrieve it. (Incidentally, they had been moved from their usual place, and put on the end of an aisle with the pancake mix, as it is Pancake Day on Tuesday.)
I hope that I am the type of person that you are after. I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
END OF PAGE 28!!!!!!!!!
The final straight.
I watched the Norbert Dentressangle versus James Irlam rugby match this afternoon. I will admit that perhaps their game has more sponsorship potential than mine. You can write RBS as many times as you want on that great big pitch.
The Nobby national anthem is so much better than Stobby’s.
Saturday 2nd February 2007
I ate something I had never eaten today for lunch.
Sharon fruit.
It tasted of, well pretty much nothing, a bit sweet, with the texture of an apple crossed with nectarine.
I did this because Nicky and I performed our usual Ceilidh in the Supermarket this afternoon. When we get back home and start unpacking I always discover things that I have never seen in the shop before, let alone would ever consider buying.
Recent Nicky acquisitions include:
100% organic Lemon Balm & Orange Blossom Conditioner.
Lemon, Rosemary and Walnut hand and nail cream.
Triare Flower & Patchouli Hand Wash.
Warm Vanilla & Neroli Hand Wash (Yes you have a choice of hand washes in our bath room).
Sharon Fruit.
My recent acquisitions:
Bread with the tiger skin pattern on it.
Cheese and onion crisps.
Beer (preferably Holsten Pils) Recently they have changed the flavour of this essential item. I have written to Carlsberg to complain, but have yet to have a response.
Frozen chips (the thin ones from waitrose).
A lemon.
I think that I may have already mentioned that I got the wireless network sorted at home. This means that I can sit in the dining room, while Nicky is upstairs doing work for, well work. I also realised that I could print stuff on the printer upstairs, right where Nicky is working. So we can still communicate.
I spent the afternoon watching the rugby and sending printed messages to Nicky upstairs.
It was no subterranean homesick blues, but it kept me amused.
I will plant some trees, I promise, and then I will walk over the discarded paper, whilst poets pass behind me.
I ate something I had never eaten today for lunch.
Sharon fruit.
It tasted of, well pretty much nothing, a bit sweet, with the texture of an apple crossed with nectarine.
I did this because Nicky and I performed our usual Ceilidh in the Supermarket this afternoon. When we get back home and start unpacking I always discover things that I have never seen in the shop before, let alone would ever consider buying.
Recent Nicky acquisitions include:
100% organic Lemon Balm & Orange Blossom Conditioner.
Lemon, Rosemary and Walnut hand and nail cream.
Triare Flower & Patchouli Hand Wash.
Warm Vanilla & Neroli Hand Wash (Yes you have a choice of hand washes in our bath room).
Sharon Fruit.
My recent acquisitions:
Bread with the tiger skin pattern on it.
Cheese and onion crisps.
Beer (preferably Holsten Pils) Recently they have changed the flavour of this essential item. I have written to Carlsberg to complain, but have yet to have a response.
Frozen chips (the thin ones from waitrose).
A lemon.
I think that I may have already mentioned that I got the wireless network sorted at home. This means that I can sit in the dining room, while Nicky is upstairs doing work for, well work. I also realised that I could print stuff on the printer upstairs, right where Nicky is working. So we can still communicate.
I spent the afternoon watching the rugby and sending printed messages to Nicky upstairs.
It was no subterranean homesick blues, but it kept me amused.
I will plant some trees, I promise, and then I will walk over the discarded paper, whilst poets pass behind me.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Friday 1st February 2008
Liebe Freundin, lieber Freund von Tarzan
Winteraktion: Unsere Preise machen die Talabfahrt!
50 % auf ausgewählte Tarzan-StoffeHalbe Preise, ganz grosse Auswahl: Unsere Artikel schenken wir Dir zur Hälfte:Hier kannst du Deine Tarzan-Aktionen aussuchen:
www.tarzan.ch/onlineshop/aktion.phpDiese eingefrorenen Winterpreise gelten 1 Woche und der Lagerbestand ist begrenzt.
Grenzenlos profitierenShirts für einen Event? Logo-Aufdrucke für alle Mitarbeiter? EM-Hoodies für deinen Verein? Tarzan Unlimited macht alles möglich. Bei uns kannst Du ab 20 Stück eigene T-Shirts, Polos und Jacken produzieren lassen. In Tarzan-Qualität zu sensationellen Bestpreisen: Hundert Stück erhältst Du bereits ab CHF 14.90. Wir machen aus Deiner Idee ein gemeinsames Produkt. Der erste Schritt zu einer Offerte oder Beratung: annina@tarzan.ch oder 061 361 61 62
Bis bald
Team Tarzan
Ps: Musterverkauf im Tarzan Store in Basel:Im Februar findest Du im Tarzan Store in Basel Einzelstücke und Prototypen von nie produzierten Styles aus unserer brodelnden Designküche.
I hope that makes sense to you.
I should never have bought those socks from Rita.
I could have shaped the Healthcare of the good people of the East Midlands, but alas, I had to apply by 31/10/07.
Campden Publishing wanted a "supersub". Apparently media speak for a subeditor. Closing date 12th October 2007.
Courtyard in Herefordshire were looking for a Programmer, but sadly they are a charity.
The Guardian themselves wanted a PA to the HR director. APD 6/10/07.
Youth Worker for the Jennifer Trust: Charity.
Tricycle were looking for an Artist in Residence, apply by date 29/10/07.
Blackpig were lookig for Account Directors, creative designers and Artworkers. APD 15/10/07.
Page 28 is rubbish. All of the adverts have passed their apply by dates, or they are charities. Surely there must be some advert without an apply by date here?
Redress: Charity Development Director.
I am quickly, too quickly, reaching the end of this challenge. I know I have likened it to Christine Ohurugu, but it really is. I feel like a runner turning the final bend; methodically plodding towards an inevitable goal.
Gather rosebuds and certainly seize the day.
Liebe Freundin, lieber Freund von Tarzan
Winteraktion: Unsere Preise machen die Talabfahrt!
50 % auf ausgewählte Tarzan-StoffeHalbe Preise, ganz grosse Auswahl: Unsere Artikel schenken wir Dir zur Hälfte:Hier kannst du Deine Tarzan-Aktionen aussuchen:
www.tarzan.ch/onlineshop/aktion.phpDiese eingefrorenen Winterpreise gelten 1 Woche und der Lagerbestand ist begrenzt.
Grenzenlos profitierenShirts für einen Event? Logo-Aufdrucke für alle Mitarbeiter? EM-Hoodies für deinen Verein? Tarzan Unlimited macht alles möglich. Bei uns kannst Du ab 20 Stück eigene T-Shirts, Polos und Jacken produzieren lassen. In Tarzan-Qualität zu sensationellen Bestpreisen: Hundert Stück erhältst Du bereits ab CHF 14.90. Wir machen aus Deiner Idee ein gemeinsames Produkt. Der erste Schritt zu einer Offerte oder Beratung: annina@tarzan.ch oder 061 361 61 62
Bis bald
Team Tarzan
Ps: Musterverkauf im Tarzan Store in Basel:Im Februar findest Du im Tarzan Store in Basel Einzelstücke und Prototypen von nie produzierten Styles aus unserer brodelnden Designküche.
I hope that makes sense to you.
I should never have bought those socks from Rita.
I could have shaped the Healthcare of the good people of the East Midlands, but alas, I had to apply by 31/10/07.
Campden Publishing wanted a "supersub". Apparently media speak for a subeditor. Closing date 12th October 2007.
Courtyard in Herefordshire were looking for a Programmer, but sadly they are a charity.
The Guardian themselves wanted a PA to the HR director. APD 6/10/07.
Youth Worker for the Jennifer Trust: Charity.
Tricycle were looking for an Artist in Residence, apply by date 29/10/07.
Blackpig were lookig for Account Directors, creative designers and Artworkers. APD 15/10/07.
Page 28 is rubbish. All of the adverts have passed their apply by dates, or they are charities. Surely there must be some advert without an apply by date here?
Redress: Charity Development Director.
I am quickly, too quickly, reaching the end of this challenge. I know I have likened it to Christine Ohurugu, but it really is. I feel like a runner turning the final bend; methodically plodding towards an inevitable goal.
Gather rosebuds and certainly seize the day.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Thursday 31st January 2008
I’ve only just received this email and needless to say the position has been filled.
They didn't even bother to sign off. I didn't really want to work for GEpublishing anyway.
The Children's Workforce Development Council know how acronyms should work:
CWDC.
Take that, Manchester University.
Sadly a charity.
Harrow Council were looking for a Referral and Assessment Service Manager, APD 17/10/07.
'Children's Services is undergoing a quiet revolution! We have an exciting vision for the future that will provide fully integrated services that emphasise partnership and participation. Our recent JAR inspection in November 2006 rated Children's services as good overall.'
Dear Madam/Sir
I noticed your advert for the Referral and Assessment Service Manager in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
Obviously, the apply by date has long passed.
I would, however, like to congratulate you on your recent JAR inspection. I have recently been given a nice jar of onions by an old friend called Phyllis. I auctioned them for charity on e-bay, and they were bought for a rather impressive £5.07 by Barrynormal.
If you would like to know more about my JAR, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
I’ve only just received this email and needless to say the position has been filled.
They didn't even bother to sign off. I didn't really want to work for GEpublishing anyway.
The Children's Workforce Development Council know how acronyms should work:
CWDC.
Take that, Manchester University.
Sadly a charity.
Harrow Council were looking for a Referral and Assessment Service Manager, APD 17/10/07.
'Children's Services is undergoing a quiet revolution! We have an exciting vision for the future that will provide fully integrated services that emphasise partnership and participation. Our recent JAR inspection in November 2006 rated Children's services as good overall.'
Dear Madam/Sir
I noticed your advert for the Referral and Assessment Service Manager in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
Obviously, the apply by date has long passed.
I would, however, like to congratulate you on your recent JAR inspection. I have recently been given a nice jar of onions by an old friend called Phyllis. I auctioned them for charity on e-bay, and they were bought for a rather impressive £5.07 by Barrynormal.
If you would like to know more about my JAR, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
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