Guardianwork

Sunday 21st October 2007

Applications: 51 Rejections: 1 Replies: 13 (12 if you count human) + Bonus Job! Withdrawn applications: 1

http://www.guinnesscommunications.co.uk/apply.html

'This position is now closed and no late applications will be received.'

The Prostate Cancer charity will not receive an application from me for their Volunteer Development Manager, even though they welcome applications from all sections of the community.

Ditto the Petsavers Fundraiser, although the position was based in Gloucester, which would have been handy for my mum and dad's shop.

Espresso education are looking for a Business Development Executive, but the closing date was the 19th October 2007.

Dear Madam/Sir

I noticed that you had the above position advertised in The Guardian dated 29/09/07.

The closing date was the 19th October 2007. I appreciate that I am late, but I have had my mum visiting with her friend Phyllis over the weekend.

Would you still accept my application?

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

For the first time in my little project, I need stationery. Jigsaw want a London Based Visual Merchandise and Stylist. I have to apply in writing to Faye McLeod. I'm off to buy some stamps and an envelope, oh and some new ink for the printer.

END OF PAGE FOUR!!!

Whoever sucked the air out of the plastic wrapping on my ink cartridge did a very good job. It took me at least twenty minutes to get it open. The air must have been sucked out by someone with the lung capacity of an Olympic rower.

So Jigsaw want people who have a proven track record in fashion visual merchandising. Hmm, tricky one.



Faye McLeod
Visual Director
Jigsaw
159 Mortlake Road
Kew
Surrey
TW9 4AW


21st October 2007

Dear Ms McLeod

Re: Visual Merchandisers & stylists

I am writing following your recent advertisement for the above position.

Although, I do not have any direct experience in this area, I do select the appropriate tie for my shirt every morning. I would like to think that I rarely make a fashion faux-pas. I would hope that the people at work would tell me if I did.

I also do my own hair (with full use of the mirror in the dining room) every morning. I did not used to use any products on my hair, but recently I have been taken to using a styling wax by VO5; it is very good.

I have taken a picture of the styling wax to prove that I use it. You will notice from the picture that there is one of those funny orb things above the pot. I don't know what this means, but I think it may mean that this was meant to be the job for me.

Please find attached Curriculum Vitae, and picture with the funny orb thingy on it.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

Encs: Picture and CV