Guardianwork

Tuesday 30th October 2007

Applications: 56 Rejections: 3 Replies: 17 (16 if you count human) + Bonus Job x 2! Withdrawn applications: 1

It was back to work today with a fairly big bump. It seems that all of my properties have leaked water from their various roofs and guttering. That will teach me for having a weekend off.

Anyway, one of the gardeners that I work with sent a bizarre e-mail last night. He has been following the progress of my little project, and was intrigued by the orb in the hair wax photograph. His partner is from The Czech republic, and on a recent visit back to the mother in law, he took the following photograph:

Well here we are another week over and hopefully you are ok and the bridge did not collapse :) anyway first thing is you still did not send me the email about the work you want done and secondly 0--0---0---0---0---0---0---0---0 you thought that your picture of your hair gel was strange with the aura above it........ well for the first time today since i have been back i looked at my pictures from Prauge. we wwere on the Charles Bridge at night and i was taking pictures as you do and i attach a copy of one of them...... This bridge was built in the 13th century so you would expect some stories about ghosts and stuff but take a look at this !!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the bottom of the picture you can see clearly the skeleton of a ghost and this has really freaked me out big time and i am going to bed now as i am downstairs all on my own !!!!!!!!! call me and tell me what you think !!!!!

Barry


How bizarre!!!

It is Halloween coming up, and I am definitely not good with ghosts.

Anyway, Lenny (of sitting on the bus fame), has been in the wars whilst we were away on holiday. He must have been in a little fight with another cat in the local vicinity. He has got an abscess on his left ear. I like to call it, pussy ear that smells of rancid aluminium disease. Have you ever tried to give a cat with an anxiety disorder some antibiotics? Not easy.

We have all seen the Liberal Democrats on the television. They like to talk a bit. Well, dear reader, you may want to skip the next e-mail that I received from them today:

Dear Ian,

Thank you for your email which has been forwarded to me by my colleague Emma Peall. In order to be elected as a Liberal Democrat MP, you first need to be selected by a Local Party as the candidate in their constituency. In order to be selected you will need to apply for inclusion on the list of Liberal Democrat Approved Candidates for the Westminster Parliament. Please note that in order to be assessed for approval you must be a fully paid up Party member of at least 12 months standing. We would recommend that all members seeking approval arrange to pay their membership fees by direct debit, as any lapse in membership may affect approval status. You can contact membership@libdems.org.uk for more details or join via the following link https://www.libdems.org.uk/support/join.html?ref=home.

Please find attached the following documents. In order to maximise your chances of approval it is important that you take time to read all of these thoroughly before completing your application form:

1) Candidates' questionnaire
This self-assessment questionnaire is designed to help you judge whether you are ready to apply for approval, to highlight the areas upon which you will be assessed and help identify any competencies where you might benefit from further experience or training.

2) Becoming a PPC - an overview
This outlines the process of approval and selection.

3) Application guidance notes
These contain detailed guidance on how to fill in all sections of the form.

4) Application form - sections A, B & C
This part of the application is forwarded to the assessors before your assessment day. You should return the original and 6 copies of this section of the form in hard copy to the Candidates' Office, and one copy by e-mail to candidates.office@libdems.org.uk.

5) Application form - section D
This contains important information about sponsors. Each sponsor should be given a copy of this section, along with a sponsorship form and a copy of "Qualities looked for in a effective PPC or PEPC". It is the applicant's responsibility to ensure that 5 signed sponsorship forms are returned to the Candidates' Office with the application form. You should note that your application will not normally be processed until all 5 sponsor forms have been returned.

6) Qualities looked for in an effective PPC or PEPC.

7) Sponsorship form.

8) Application form - sections E, F & G
These sections contain your personal declaration, declaration of interests and medical declaration. Please complete these fully and make sure the final declaration is signed.

9) Application form - sections H & I
Biographical and Monitoring Information.
These sections do not form part of the assessment. The biographical information will be used to provide information about you to the media and general public should you be approved and selected for a constituency. The monitoring information is used internally to assess our diversity policies. It will be used for anonymous statistical analyses which may be made public, but no personal information will be released unless you give your consent as indicated in section H.

10) Contact list of Regional Candidates' Chairs (RCCs)
Your RCC is well placed to offer advice on the approval process, and to help you meet any training or personal development needs you may have. Once you have submitted your form and it has been successfully processed, they will organise an assessment day in your region if possible. Please note that an assessment day can only be organised when there are sufficient candidates. The English Candidates' Committee has agreed as a target that all candidates will be offered an assessment day within 6 months of having submitted their application form. If you have a particular seat in mind, please allow plenty of time before the selection process is scheduled to apply for assessment. Please let the Candidates' Office know if you are willing to travel outside your region for assessment as this may increase your opportunities for assessment.

Completed applications should be returned to the Candidates' Office, along with a deposit cheque for £50 made out to "English Liberal Democrats". This will be returned to you when you have attended an assessment day. In the event of a cancellation less than 4 weeks before the day, this deposit may be retained in order to cover the administrative costs of finding a replacement and you will have to submit another deposit cheque before being offered another day. Unavoidable and sincere reasons for non-attendance will be treated sympathetically.

If you have any questions or queries about the form or application process, please don't hesitate to contact the Candidates' Office on 020 7227 1204.

Tamsin Hewett
English Candidates' Officer


And in response:

Dear Tamsin

Thank you for your e-mail.

It seems like it is quite a process becoming an MP!

I will peruse the contents of your e-mail and let you know whether this is the right thing for me.

I really did appreciate your e-mail. It must have taken you some time to type all of that. I hope you took regular breaks, as you can get RSI from too much typing!

Kind regards



Ian Carpenter

I also received my weekly e-mail from The Guardian:

The Guardian JobMatch team have identified an opportunity that may be of interest to you.

The advertiser is IAC and the title of the vacancy they are advertising is Technical Sales Manager.

To find out more please click here:

http://jobs.guardian.co.uk/job/303031/technical-sales-manager/?grse=grse_1&email=jobmatch&licampaignid=311513

Kind Regards

The Guardian Jobs Team

To Unsubscribe, please log in to Guardian Jobs and delete saved searches. To Log in, click here: http://www.guardianjobs.co.uk/my-details?grse=grse_1&email=Jobmatch_unsub

IAC are looking for a technical sales manager.

"Reporting to the Business Manager you will be responsible for generating new business within the stand alone acoustic door and window team."

Stand alone acoustic door and window team?!? Does a door stand alone ever? Usually it is attached to some kind of frame, which is usually attached to a, well, wall. What is an acoustic door anyway? Actually, I think the people next door to us have an acoustic door. I always get the real hump when they slam it shut at six o'clock in the morning.

Applying was fairly straight forward, just upload my CV online. One more down.

Q: How many Radians in a semi-circle?

A: Pi

Thank you Jeremy Paxman.