Guardianwork

Saturday 19th January 2008

I received a fantastic reply this morning. The e-mail was sent at 7.20 a.m. this morning. Te refresh my memory I looked back to how I replied to Chelsea Square. I applied on the 4th January with:

Dear Michael

I fumbled across your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I would like to apply for your position as Designer/Specifier.

I can not confess to be conversant with autoCAD. Is this one of those new computer games that you can talk to? I do not know of it, but I am willing to learn.

I do have a high level of design creativity, and a great deal of spatial awareness. In my opinion, Ursa Major looks nothing like a great bear, and as for the hunter Orion, I ask you.

I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

The response from Michael:

Ian,

Thank you for stumbling across our advert. I’m sorry for the late reply but have only just been discharged after my gender change operation. I am afraid we have filled the position, but we would like to offer you opportunity to apply for the vacancy of hole punch assistant. This is a part time position offering 36 minutes a week and feel that with your strong creativity skills you would be the ideal candidate. The salary is pro rata 50p per annum and you will of course be required to work shifts which shall include nights.

Please feel free to drop me a line should you have any questions.

Kind Regards

Michael Lansley

Well done Michael, you join a fairly exclusive club that includes Tottenham Hotspur and Patrick Meiier, a Swiss Banker.