Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Wednesday 3rd October 2007

Applications: 11 rejections: 1 Replies: 2 (1 if you count human)


Sorry for the capital letters, but it has been a momentous achievement.

Dear Ian,

Thank you for your recent email application for the position of Research Consultant at The Zygos Partnership.

We will contact you no later than the end of October in reference to this role.

In the meantime, thank you for your interest.

Kind regards.


The Zygos Partnership

I take back all previous comments about the Zygos Partnership.

Thank you Karren, and so friendly. The way that my flippant 'kind regards' sign off has been mirrored is pure brilliance. So, I will hear back from them by the end of the month.

Today has been fairly interactive on all fronts really. I sent an e-mail to my friend Stew, to see if he would be interested in what I was doing. I received the response:

Every time I talk to you you tell me how busy you are!!!!


Yes, but do you like the idea?

It's your own fault for reading a pretentious, leftie, quasi intellectual rag like The Guardian !


ps They can't spell either

He has a point. More observant readers of my project will have noticed a typo in the opening paragraph. The Guardian Wrok section was deliberate. Anyway, the excitement of receiving a response should not deter me from applying for more jobs...

The Scottish Adoption- Chief Executive-

Woah... This is big stuff.

I really do not have a social work background, or any financial management experience at a high level. No, wait! I worked in a bank, and I did a social policy degree, come on! This is definitely the job for me. Plus (In brackets) there is a Final Salary Pension Scheme (their capitals).

Dear Sandra

I am writing regarding your vacancy for a Chief Executive.

I would be grateful if you could send me more details regarding this position, and possibly an information pack.

Kind regards

Ian Carpenter

UK Sport are looking for a


Qualified to degree level (see above) (or below on the blog).

With a good knowledge of elite level sports in the UK. I have watched rugby only last week in the pub.

Dear Madam/Sir

I would like to apply for the position of Coaching Consultant as advertised in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I have no experience in this area, however I am qualified to degree level and I do like watching elite sport.

I have attached my Curriculum Vitae for your perusal.

Kind regards

Ian Carpenter

Director General of the International Institute of Communications

This is a part time position. Well really, how long can it take to direct communications?

"You speak!"

"Now you speak!"

It can't be hard. I reckon I could do this job, research for the Zygos Partnership, and be a part time STR worker for the Holy Cross Centre Trust. We will see.

BACKGROUNDThe IIC was formed in 1969 at Ditchley Park in the UK. The underlying objective was to provide a non-partisan organisation to enable international debate of all kinds on the increasingly complex world of communications. The IIC’s mission is to provide a global framework for dialogue and to promote access to communications for all peoples of the world. It is an international, interdisciplinary, independent, not-for-profit membership organisation and a registered charity. Its funding comes from subscriptions, donations and projects. It is governed by an international Board of Directors and advised by a select number of Trustees.

Great another charity, yes I will donate any stamps etc if I get a response.

APPLICATIONSPlease contact Sebastian Mann at with an expression of your interest and most relevant experience along with a full CV and details of two referees.
No problem Sebastian:

Dear Sebastian

I would like to express my interest in your vacancy for Director General of the Institute of Communications.

Please find attached my CV for your perusal. As you can see I am able to communicate in a direct way.

Kind regards

Ian Carpenter