Guardianwork

Saturday 1st December 2007

Applications: 92 Rejections: 5 Replies: 28 (27 if you count human) + Bonus Job x 3! Withdrawn applications: 1

We found a fantastic website today, with a great idea for a Christmas present! I can't say any more, but just wait until Christmas day. It is genius! I don't use that word lightly, it is absolutely genius.

Mr Site wants a PR executive contact jobs@mrsite.co.uk

Dear Madam/Sir

I noted, with pre-seasonal Christmas joy, your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

How did you possibly obtain the website mrsite.co.uk? Did you not have competition from other people? I don’t know anyone called Mrs Ite, but I am sure they would be interested in your domain name.

I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards



Ian Carpenter

The UK film Council want a Diversity Executive:

'With you excellent knowledge and understanding of diversity, access and inclusion issues, and a strong track record of delivering diversity strategies and programmes you will be expected to provide expert advice and support to the UKFC.'

Ok, my advice, never order the great big bucket of chicken. Eyes bigger than belly etc.

Apply by date 15/10/07.

Audley Travel (Form an Audley Cue; see Jules Segal, Greeting the 500) want Country Specialists. Brilliant, I was born in the Forest of Dean, which is proper country.

'If you are applying for a Country Specialist role, please include your travel history with dates and durations.'

Dear Madam/Sir

I read your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07. I was mesmerised by the image of the mill from which you work.

I am a country specialist. I was born in the Forest of Dean, and that really is in the country.

I used to play army with a friend of mine, called Paul Watkins in the ferns.

It was all good fun.

Anyway, I attach my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

Closing date for Kew gardens was the 5th October, pants.

END OF PAGE 18!!!!!!!!!!!

Honestly, it is the best present I have ever bought. I wish I could tell.