Guardianwork

Thursday 3rd January 2008

Bad news I'm afraid.

My sister has had a fag. I got the text message at around 11.00 p.m. this evening. Still, nearly three days is not bad. It's a good effort.

There was a power cut in Shoeburyness last Friday. Apparently 22,000 were without electric for the whole night. One of these 22,000 was a colleague Dan at work, who had just returned from the peak district, and had no food or anything in.

I only mention this, as we had a power cut last night. Of course, we had no candles in, and so I had to go to Waitrose (See above, Waitrose Ceilidh). All the twenty two thousand people in Shoebury had bought every single candle in Waitrose. They had no candles. Well, apart from four Christmassy, glittery things.

So I bought them; I had no choice. Four candles? The two Ronnies would have been proud of me.

I also bought a great big torch in B&Q. I mean massive, I could eat my dinner of the lens on the front. This was all good until I brought it home. I read in gloriously Dickensian candlelight that you had to charge the bloody thing up first.

Oh well.

No e-mails today, well I have been slacking over Christmas I suppose. Let's crack on...

TNT Magazine:

Deputy Sales Manager

Events Marketing Executive.

'You will need previous media sales experience, excellent account management skills and the ability to lead a team.'


Dear Madam/Sir

I read with alacrity your advert for the above roles in the Guardian Dated 29/09/07.

I appreciate that I am slightly tardy in my application, but would like to apply for the two positions advertised.

You stipulated that I may need previous media sales experience. Well, on December 30th, the film Babe was on the telly. My partner did not want to watch it at first, but I managed to sell it to her. In the end she quite enjoyed it! Moreover, she is a vegetarian!

I also have excellent account management skills. I once managed to avoid being charged for an excess overdraft fee, by using the internet.

I have experience in leading a team. On December 30th (sorry to repeat myself), there was a film on after Babe called Snow Dogs. He had to lead a team of husky dogs in order to pull his sled. The funny thing was, he kept tripping over the lead!

Anyway, I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

PS Do you write about dynamite?