Saturday, October 20, 2007

Saturday 20th October 2007

The Guardian JobMatch team have identified an opportunity that may be of interest to you.

The advertiser is UNITED UTILITIES LTD and the title of the vacancy they are advertising is Business Development Manager x3.

To find out more please click here:

Kind Regards

The Guardian Jobs Team

To Unsubscribe, please log in to Guardian Jobs and delete saved searches. To Log in, click here:

Now, I am slightly more certain that the Guardian Jobs Team is trying to lay down the gauntlet, as it were. Again, I have not heard from Guardian Jobs in two months but since I sent them the e-mail to see if they are interested in my quest, I have received a couple of jobs. I may be being paranoid, but the way they have signed off with kind regards, makes me suspicious. Once more unto the breach, Guardian Jobs Team, I can not refuse your challenge.

Job: Business Development Manager x3,

Should it not be Jobs? Ah well, it is the Guardian.

Thank you for applying for the position of : Business Development Manager x3.
App. Source :

If you would like to view the job advert, please click here
Applying for this job should only take a few minutes. Fill in the Personal Details form making sure that your email address and phone numbers are up to date. Then upload any documents requested e.g. CV. When your application is complete you will receive an acknowledgement by email for your records. Your application is then ready to be considered for shortlisting.
When you are ready to begin your application click "Next ".

Acknowledge *
Print Your Application

Your application will shortly be acknowledged by email to the following address:
my e-mail address
All relevant details of your application will be included in this acknowledgement for further reference.
You have now completed the initial online application process. Your application will now be reviewed as soon as possible. Should we require any further information or require you to participate in the selection process you will be contacted.
Thank you for applying.

There that was easy. I still don't trust the on-line application process though, so I will expect to be declined within a couple of minutes.

'With a name like Guinness you might think our brand was pretty good already.'

Fantastic! A job working for Guinness! However:

'Today we have no connection with the brewery, but we're proud of our heritage and keen to build on our reputation as one of the country's largest providers of housing.'

Oh pants.
Saturday 20th October 2007

This morning I woke up with tonsils swollen due to too much snoring, due to that bottle of merlot in the restaurant, the food of which I can smell on my fingers, with a dull ache in my forehead disease.

My parents live in the Forest of Dean in Gloucestershire. According to Google maps, a distance of 185 miles or 3 hours 31 minutes distance. They run the traditional rural shop, where people put a paper order in for the whole week, and Mrs Jones has a bloomer on Thursday; you get the idea. I don't see them very often due to the distance between us, we are the archetypal non-nuclear family.

Anyway it is my mum's birthday next week, so it has been decided that she should come down for a weekend visit, to celebrate the passing of another year. My dad drove my mum and a close family friend Phyllis down, and they arrived at around 1 pm yesterday. I had taken the afternoon off. I called them to see where they were, and to ask them not to turn up until I had done the washing up from the previous night's Chinese takeaway. My dad was not staying for the weekend; he was literally dropping my mum and Phyllis off, before returning to the shop, as he could not get anyone to look after it for the weekend. A journey of 370 miles, and a carbon wellington bootprint. Before you ask, yes my mum can drive, and no, I do not know why she did not drive herself.

Anyway, we went to a bar on Southend Seafront for the afternoon. It was one of those great autumnal afternoons, where you get crisp, shiny sunshine. We then booked my mum and Phyllis into a local hotel. In case you think I am not hospitable, I do not have a spare bedroom. I turned it into a study when I went back to university. We unloaded the car, and it was then I discovered that they had brought their own toaster, bread, and margarine, which they arranged neatly on the sideboard of their shared twin room. I think they must be concerned that we may not have learned how to toast bread here in Essex.

Anyway, after dad had left, and Nicky had returned from work, we went for a meal in the restaurant, the food of which I could smell on my fingers this morning.

All of this excitement has meant that I did not do any work on my little project yesterday. I think the Guardian Job Gods can sense that I did not do any work yesterday, as I have not received any e-mails at all. All this is a bit of a bonus as it means that I can crack on with applying for the jobs.