Wednesday 16th January 2008

It always amuses me at night, when I am dating this blog. I do the Peter Kay, looking at the watch thing when I want to check the date. Well observed Peter.

I spent the day in the fine county of Kent. To be precise, in Bromley and Dartford. As discussed earlier, it is all glamour here.

Now, one thing did strike me. The M25 is a fairly major road when getting around the South East. I mean, it is sign posted from here in Southend, and it is 19 miles away. However, the good people in Kent don't seem to want to know about it. Given that the M25 is probably only five miles from Bromley, do you think I could find a road sign for it? I ended up going back to the Blackwall Tunnel and back out again; plain ridiculous.

The road journey back from Dartford ended in a boring one-nil win for the French. I mean, sneaking in from the left just after the Dartford Tunnel; I ask you. I liken it to an Eric Cantona, except without the trawlers, or for that matter the seagulls. For better measure it is not like him at all.

Informa healthcare wanted two reporters.

Dear Alex

I am writing following your advertisement in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

The apply by date was the 26th of October. I appreciate that I am three months late in applying.

Your advertisement asked that the candidate has strong pharmaceutical knowledge. Recently, the spam guard has broken at work, and we have been receiving countless e-mails about Viagra. This is a blue pill that particularly helped one man who had undergone a prostate cancer operation.

You also asked that the applicant should have a strong knowledge of German. I recently bought a pair of socks, knitted by a Swiss Granny. The entire transaction was carried out in German.

I hope that you will consider my application, even though it is ridiculously late.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

PS I have attached my CV

HCL Fairstaff: Agency.

The booksellers Association; charity.

Current Archaeology want a Magazine Designer. (Be honest, did you know Archaeology had an 'a' in it?)

APD 19/10/07.

END OF PAGE 24!!!!!

Tuesday 15th January 2008

Work was fun again. Sword of Damocles does not quite cover it.

Anyway, £5.07 has been donated to Cancer Research; it is quite simple to do online.

Dear Mr Carpenter [well it was Barry really]

Thank you very much for your kind gift of £5.07 to support the work of Cancer Research UK. Your donation will go towards research into the causes of cancer, and help find effective ways to detect, treat and prevent the disease.

Cancer Research UK supports the work of around 3,500 scientists, doctors and nurses and undertakes a comprehensive programme of research in institutes, hospitals and universities throughout Britain and Northern Ireland.

Please keep this safe in case you have any queries. You might like to print this email or save it to your computer hard drive.

If you have any questions or would like further information on the work of Cancer Research UK, please do not hesitate to get in touch on 020 7121 6699 or by email at supporter.services@cancer.org.uk.

Yours sincerely

Claire Wilson
Head of Supporter Services
Cancer Research UK

No e-mails again this evening, so on with the jobs.

Digital UK were looking for a Press Officer, but the apply by date was 25/10/07.

Bespoke, Adrem, E J Church and Gordonyates are all recruitment companies.

Reveal wanted a Senior Writer:

'Do you have what it takes to work in a celebrity lifestyle weekly? Are you a skilled journalist, who has experience in doorsteps, doorknocking and is happy to travel from New Orleans to Newport in pursuit of an exclusive?'

I so wanted to apply to this, but apply by date has passed, and you have got to have a system.