Guardianwork

Thursday November 1st 2007

Applications: 57 Rejections: 3 Replies: 18 (17 if you count human) + Bonus Job x 2! Withdrawn applications: 1

I have not worked on my project for a couple of days. This is not because I have been abducted by the strange Ghosties in Barry's picture, but rather I have been abducted by a strange stomach bug.

I was taken away on Wednesday morning and left in a strange world.

The world was basically my bedroom with the lights shut, and me in a foetal position, with quite a lot of abdominal pain. Then the strange bug would lead me to the bathroom at fairly regular intervals to make me do things I did not want to do.

I went to the doctor today, and he told me I had:

"Some kind of stomach bug."

Thanks Doctor. I don't reckon that my Doctor and the person that named Blue-Tongue Disease would get on at all well.

Anyway, he gave me some kind of milky thing to drink which I think has worked.

Again, it has been proven that the Guardian Jobs gods know when you are not working. I have had no responses from anyone this evening. I had better crack on with the next job.

I now realise, what with all of the excitement over Switzerland, and being abducted by the bug, that I have not applied for a job in over seven days!!!

London Business School are looking for a Development Associate.

'You will manage an international portfolio of 150 top prospects to ensure they are solicited for gifts of £50k-£2m for institutional priorities.'

Hmm, I have already encountered someone soliciting my details earlier on in this newspaper, so I am a bit wary.

Dear Madam/Sir

I read with more than a considerable amount of interest your advertisement in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I was particularly interested in your excellent recreational facilities, including on-site swimming pool, spa pool, sauna, and fully equipped gym.

I have recently applied for another job in the Guardian dated 29/09/07, and was led up the garden path. I hope that your request for me to solicit money from an international portfolio is all legitimate and above board.

I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter


St George's Deadline 19/10/07.
Mentoring and Befriending 8/10/07.
Southend College 12/10/07. (Pants that was local too!)

West Midlands Police 15/10/07.
Amnesty Inernational 15/10/07 (not that I would have applied anyway).
Arts Educational School 8/10/07.

Hmm, I spot a trend here.

Thank you,

your application/query has been received. We will be in touch with you in due course,

Regards

Recruitment Administrator




This is an automated email, please do not respond

Blimey, that was quick.

A quick update for anyone that is concerned about Lenny's ear. It does appear to be healing, and does not smell so much anymore. There were a few days there when we were not sat next to each other on the bus.

I was on one side of the aisle, and he was sat on the other.

Well, I didn't want him to catch my strange stomach bug.