Guardianwork

Monday 21st January 2008

Just to clarify, I did not use Lindsey's toothbrush, thinking that it was mine.

Just making it clear.

So, page 26 starts with the University of Hertfordshire. Business Analyst (Systems and Planning), and a Business Information Officer. APD 15/10/07.

Gordonyates; Agency.

Not a good start.

Development Manager for The Charleston Trust (Charity). However I did not know that:

'Charleston, set in the beautiful Sussex Countryside, is the former home of the Bloomsbury Artists Duncan Grant and Vanessa Bell. Owned band run by the Charleston Trust it is one of Britain's most successful small museums.'

Every day is a school day.

Walsall Council wanted YOS Practictioners (3 posts):

'Opportunities exist within the successful Youth Offending Services as it consolidates and progresses into a further period of development in the implementation of the Crime and Disorder Act 1998.'

1998?

That is ten years ago. I reckon they need to practice YOS a bit more often.

Westmister Children's Society, wanted people in Dagenham. It is a shame that it is a charity.

At last a job I can apply for...

Arrow Therapeutics wants an Office Manager.


Dear Madam/sir

I noticed your advert in The Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I appreciate that I am nearly four months late, but I would like to apply for your Office Manager position.

I tried to connect to your web site this evening, but it was unavailable, therefore I have little to go on.

Please find attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards



Ian Carpenter

And then...

Dear Peter

I was inspired by your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I noticed that your travel writing workshops were held on the 13th October and the 10th November 2007. Do you intend to repeat the workshops this year?

I look forward to your earliest response.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

University of Central Lancashire; UCLAN Makes you think:

'Senior Data Management Oficer

£25,134-£29,139, Market rate supplement to maximum £30,913 (reviewed annually)

1 year limited contract'

Really, where did they pull these numbers from? Let's enter a random set of numbers into the job advert. It could have been:

£54,321

or

£43,521

or

£12,345.

What gets me is that it is a one year limited contract (i.e. over in a year), and your salary is reviewed annually.

Closing date 12/10/07.

We have our interviews on Thursday. These are the interviews that determine whether we get to keep our jobs. The beauty in this is that I have been having the weirdest anxiety dreams in the world, and I look forward to more this evening.

I have fallen from the top of Canary Wharf twice over the last week.

I dreamt that all my work colleagues were stuck in the meeting room, talking rubbish for two hours, before pointing at me to take the blame for someone's boiler leaking on the feet of their recently purchased siamese cat.

I have been back on the banks of the Thames in London on the Millenium, more than once in the last week. My friend from uni, big Jim, trying to hold back the crowd as they surged towards the river. The river was set alight with fireworks, with Jim shouting:

"There is nothing to see here."

The point is people are people.

The corporation does not appreciate the affect it has on everyone.