Guardianwork

Thursday 22nd November 2007

Applications: 84 Rejections: 5 Replies: 26 (25 if you count human) + Bonus Job x 2! Withdrawn applications: 1


I was mortally embarrassed today.

I went to the supermarket after work and I was forced to go to the check-out of the woman that saw me topless on the stage of the Southend Cliffs Pavillion, whilst serenading Julian Clary, whilst having my nipples rubbed by his erstwhile sidekick, Hugh Jelly (from sticky moments).

I have managed to avoid her for about four years since the incident, but she was right on the end of the line of checkouts. I went bright red.

I should just explain that I went to see Julian Clary about four years ago. I was selected to participate in his live show. I say selected, the bloke in front of me refused to go up, so it really forced my hand.

Anyway, after having to answer several questions about my favourite sexual positions etc, it was of great amusement to many of the 600 odd people in the audience that I worked in a bank.

The following day, Nicky and I went to the supermarket, and the check out person said:

"Were you at the Cliffs Pavilion last night?"

I could have died.

She still remembers the incident, apparently, even after four years.

I still have the bottle of champagne that I was given that night, I do have a picture.


So on with the administration.

Jane's Information Group, from yesterday, sent me an e-mail:

Dear Ian,

Sorry could you just clarify which position you would like to apply for.

Many thanks,

Emma Cussell
Resource and Development Administrator


Dear Emma

Thank you for your e-mail.

Please, do not apologise for asking for clarification of my application. I have to admit, it was not clear from my original e-mail.

I would like to apply for both positions advertised.

They were, in turn:

Deputy Editor, Jane’s Defence Weekly-Coulsdon Surrey.

and

Chief Sub-Editor (Defence and Transport)- Coulsdon Surrey.

I hope that this clarifies the matter, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards



Ian Carpenter

I also received an odd e-mail:

Dear Ian


Regards
Craig Cobb Consultant
Judd Farris Property Recruitment


Dear Craig

Thank you for your e-mail.

I noted with a considerable amount of interest that you did not include a message.

The more you know, the less you need to show, I suppose.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

Administration over.

It was pointed out to me, by Laura, Dan, Barry and Martin that there was a vacant position today. The England boss, Steve McLaren, has lost his job following last night's defeat. I have a day off tomorrow, so I reckon it may be time for bonus job number 3.