Guardianwork

Wednesday 21st October 2007

Applications: 84 Rejections: 5 Replies: 25 (24 if you count human) + Bonus Job x 2! Withdrawn applications: 1

No e-mails received today.

Perhaps everyone was down the pub watching England get beaten 3-2 by Croatia. I thought it was a fairly exciting game, despite everyone's doom and gloom.

So on with posh page 17...

'Jane's Information Group offers a range of integrated advertising, intelligence and consultancy solutions in five specialist areas - defence, security, transport, public safety and law enforcement.'


Hmm...

I see another LoTSa here.

Dear Emma

I read with interest your advertisements in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

I appreciate that I am slightly late in responding, but I would still like to apply.

Firstly, I can’t help mentioning that you have missed a trick. You are marketing your organisation as Jane’s. Jane’s Information Group would lend itself to the acronym JIG. Just think of the possibilities!!!

JIGSAW- a monthly newsletter, where you tell everyone about the defence, security, transport, public safety and law enforcement that you have observed over the last month.

Let’s JIG! A once a month party when all like minded people can have a bit of a boogie, whilst discussing defence, security, etc.

I hope you are interested in my ideas.

I have attached my CV for your perusal and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

So we come to Sheridan Edward at Modern Art Oxford.

Charity, I am afraid, but take a look at their site www.modernartoxford.org.uk.

Titan Publishing Group want editors for comics, and designers. Apply by date 28/09/07.

What?!?!?

The paper was published on the 29/09/07.

Dear Madam/Sir

I was stupefied by your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.

Your advert asked that I apply for the job by the 28/09/07. Are you really expecting people to have developed a time machine?

I appreciate that you are publishing comics, but in the real world, I do not think that is possible.

However, I would like to try.

An associate of mine, who I call Paranormal Barry, could probably assist. Whenever he takes a photo, funny orbs appear in it.

I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to your earliest reply.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

Two small adverts in the corner warrant no more than me sending them my CV:

Dear Madam/Sir

Please find attached my CV.

Kind regards



Ian Carpenter

Can you imagine next summer, when the European championships are on? No UK teams. Oh well, at least the gutters will not be full of those stupid flags that have fallen off the car windows.

Every cloud...