Guardianwork

Wednesday 17th October 2007

Applications: 46 Rejections: 1 Replies: 11 (10 if you count human) + Bonus Job! Withdrawn applications: 1

My car has got one of those on board computer things that can measure your fuel consumption over a given journey, or your average speed. I set it to zero on the way into work today to see how fast I travel on the A127: an average of 14 mph. Well done the South East.

No response from the Liberal Democrats today (They must have a lot on their mind). Still no response from my voice mail message to tenuk.

So on to the next job...

Oh no, it's the NHS again!!! I have already been rejected by their computer once (September 30th), can it happen again? I don't hold out much hope. They want a Director of Human Resources.

Phew closing date 17th October.

Again, they are directing me to a website. See above, the computer says, "no" to me on these things, so there is an e-mail address.

Dear Lynne

I am writing following your recent advertisement for Director of Human Resources.

I was relieved to see that the closing date was today, and I have just managed to apply on time.

Your advertisement directed me towards your website www.jobs.nhs.uk. I would not like to apply for your position through this route. I recently applied to the NHS on the 30th September for a Gateway to Leadership Programme. I was declined by your automated screening service, before a human being got to look at my application!

So therefore, I would like to apply in the (new fashioned) old fashioned way, by attaching my CV for your perusal.

Should you have any queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

END OF THIRD PAGE!!!!

Well apart from an advert for guardianjobs.co.uk, and I am already registered. It is odd though, that I have not had an e-mail from them in two months, but today I received an e-mail for a job. Are they trying to challenge me?

Page four looks as inviting as page three.

Pilgrims are looking for:

Operations Manager (Operational Consultancy)
Operations Manager (Consultancy) [Anybody got any idea what the difference is?]
Training Manager

'Pilgrims is one of the UK's leading security risk management companies, providing a range of specialist consultancy, operational and information services to a significant blue chip client base around the globe.'

Well done you.

They must be specialists if they have to differentiate between Operational Consultancy and Consultancy.

No closing date, just send a CV.

Dear Madam/Sir

I am writing following you three job advertisements in the Guardian dated 29/9/07.

The Operations Manager (Operational Consultancy) role appeals to me. It asks for experience of working in hostile environments and within a commercial organisation.
I often work in hostile environments. For example, I was washing up this evening while my two cats (Hippy and Lenny) were fighting over the Iams.

The Operations Manager (Consultancy) role also appeals to me. I have to be honest, I was a bit unsure about the need to undertake impact analysis. Does this hurt? Are we provided with protective equipment?

Of all your three positions, Training Manager seems about the most suited to me.

I have attached my CV for your perusal.

Should you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter