Guardianwork

Wednesday 10th October 2007

Applications: 23 Rejections: 1 Replies: 6 (5 if you count human)



We thank you for your interest in tenUk and will be in touch shortly.

Kind regards,

HR at tenUK

Thanks ten


Please visit our website where all our current vacancies are listed and updated regularly

www.mdx.ac.uk/jobs

Recruitment


Thanks Middlesex University.

Does anyone have a name?

Anyway, I was in London today and nearly got run over by a Police car. I was strolling along the Bayswater Road, the sun was shining, and I was heading for Lancaster Gate tube station. I could hear a siren in the environs, and had a good look around to make sure there was none heading my way. And then it came round the corner. I was smack bang in the middle of the road. I thought that my time was up.

You know on Scooby Do, when shaggy does that legs moving but not moving forward thing? I did it!!! I was actually running on the spot, waiting to be hit by a speeding police car. All's well that end well. I made it to the other side of the road, but I did cause some amusement to the diners in the restaurant on the corner.

Bad news for spider lovers. It looks as if chain smoking spider is no more. Two nights on the trot and she has not come back.

Essex has been infested with Blue Tongue Disease. Seriously, if ever a disease does what it says on the tin, that is it. What a fantastic name for a disease!

Farmer: What has he got vet?

Vet: He has a blue tongue.

Farmer: Is it serious?

Vet: Yes, he has blue tongue disease.

Farmer: Oh.

If only every other disease was as brilliantly named. I mean BSE, or Bovine Spongiform encephalopathy. What a useless name that is. Who knows what symptoms you are going to get with that? Only if you know some animal adjectives will you know that bovine relates to a cow. Spongiform, well what form does a spongi take?

Chicken pox? No, itchy red spots that you have to scratch until you hurt disease: much better.

So all in all, I congratulate the person who discovered blue tongue disease, a disease well named.

Anyway, on that note the health professions council are looking for a Lead Case Manager (x3) and Hearings Manager (x1). Was there really any need to put (x1)?

What does a lead case manager do? Do you have to manage cases made of lead?

Dear Madam/Sir

I was intrigued by your job vacancy in the Guardian dated 29/9/07.

Could you please tell me what is involved in managing cases that are made of lead? Is there some kind of protective suit that needs to be worn?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Ian Carpenter

The Merlin Housing association want a communications officer. No e-mail address, so will put to one side for the moment.

ST PAUL'S CATHEDRAL!

Oh dear closing date 5th October.