Monday, June 15, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Friday, March 06, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
Monday, December 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Wednesday February 13th 2008
Well the British Airways job didn't come to anything:
Dear Ian
Thank you for your recent application for Commercial Business Analyst which we have now been able to review in greater detail.
Due to very strong competition for this vacancy, we regret to advise you that after careful consideration, our decision is not to take your application further on this occasion.
Should you wish to re-apply for a similar position again in the future, please note we cannot accept another application within one year.
Due to the high volume of applications we are unable to offer feedback.
May we thank you for the time you have given us and wish you every success in the future.
Yours sincerely
British Airways Recruitment
Never mind...
I printed all of my work so far and presented it to Simon yesterday. I thought that Guardianwork had ended. I have applied for all of the jobs. There was a satisfaction that I had completed the challenge.
Incidentally, when I printed it off for Simon, I picked up a pile of plain paper to put in the printer; Just a random amount. I clicked print, and guess what?
I had put in the exact number of pages required to print it.
Ten heads in a row, nothing on my paper picking abilities.
Well the British Airways job didn't come to anything:
Dear Ian
Thank you for your recent application for Commercial Business Analyst which we have now been able to review in greater detail.
Due to very strong competition for this vacancy, we regret to advise you that after careful consideration, our decision is not to take your application further on this occasion.
Should you wish to re-apply for a similar position again in the future, please note we cannot accept another application within one year.
Due to the high volume of applications we are unable to offer feedback.
May we thank you for the time you have given us and wish you every success in the future.
Yours sincerely
British Airways Recruitment
Never mind...
I printed all of my work so far and presented it to Simon yesterday. I thought that Guardianwork had ended. I have applied for all of the jobs. There was a satisfaction that I had completed the challenge.
Incidentally, when I printed it off for Simon, I picked up a pile of plain paper to put in the printer; Just a random amount. I clicked print, and guess what?
I had put in the exact number of pages required to print it.
Ten heads in a row, nothing on my paper picking abilities.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Hello!!!!!
Just looked at the last bit you said about earlier.
Got to admit that I felt really sad when I watched the clip last off, does that sound a bit odd?
Well, hopefully you will read this e-mail soon, as I'm sure you won't be picking them up as quickly now you're not on your computer as often.
Thanks for a great 6 months, and an insight into 'Ian Carpenter' aged 34.
Take care, love you loads, and hope to speak soon.
Ali
What do I do now?
Just looked at the last bit you said about earlier.
Got to admit that I felt really sad when I watched the clip last off, does that sound a bit odd?
Well, hopefully you will read this e-mail soon, as I'm sure you won't be picking them up as quickly now you're not on your computer as often.
Thanks for a great 6 months, and an insight into 'Ian Carpenter' aged 34.
Take care, love you loads, and hope to speak soon.
Ali
What do I do now?
Monday 11th February
Guess what?
There is a bonus page!!!
What I thought were just adverts on page thirty are in fact just that: they are adverts, adverts for jobs!!!
Underneath the article about Paul Smith, a software engineer from Harrogate, are some more job adverts! Incidentally Paul found the IT market tougher than he expected.
It is a good thing that I did not throw the paper away... Then where would I have been?
There are Luton Based Opportunities for working at Vauxhall Motors. Sadly, an agency.
Oh pants.
www.graduate-recruitment.co.uk, another agency.
Got Jobs for Graduates, ditto.
Oh these adverts are not so good after all.
PFJ, another agency...
How frustrating is this?
Brand and Brown are looking for a graduate, to join their training programme.
'Send us your CV , together with a 200-word newspaper style article (either fictitious or real) about an aspect of your university life.'
Dear Madam/Sir
I came across your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07, with a feeling like I had just eaten some Sharon fruit for the first time.
You asked that I submit my CV with a 200 word article about my university life.
Here is an extract from a recent project regarding my first encounter with Garrett:
Garrett and I met for the first time at Bath University. I pitched up, with my Mum and Dad in tow on my first day. We all faffed around for a while, before my parents and entourage left me on my own, for the first time.
It was very daunting.
Stuck in a breeze block room, that was so small, it was a lucky thing that I didn't have a cat that liked to be swung.
Bambi-like, I timidly ventured out into the corridor. The first place I headed to was the communal toilets.
As you do.
Garrett was in the toilets/washroom, shaving. This area was shared between 26 student flats. You can imagine the state that this area found itself in after a few weeks. So Garrett was the first person I met in my new adult life.
Garrett; "Alright? My name is Garrett." (Extending his hand)
Me: "Yes I'm ok, my name is Ian." (Shaking Garrett's hand, yes I am a proper adult now.)
Garrett: "Do you want a beer?"
Me: "Well ok then."
It was a bit more convoluted than that, but essentially Garrett and I were destined to be friends for a long time; that was 17 years ago.
I hope that you enjoy it.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
The final, final job is for Head of Global Risk Department with Merchant International.
'A small but well-established corporate security and strategic risk consultancy is looking to hire a new head of the global risk department. The position requires a strong background in the political and strategic risk consulting arena with a focus on emerging markets. The successful candidate will manage a small team of researchers and have primary responsibility for developing new business and restructuring our product portfolio.'
Dear Madam/Sir
I read with interest your advert for Head of Global Risk. I felt a bit like I had just taken a deep breath before a job interview.
I am exceptionally good at Global Risk. Two Austrian friends of ours, Gert and Tina, once invited us over for a game. I lost, but my strategy was very good. I think I was put off by the viener schnitzell.
Anyway, I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
That is it.
Done.
Guess what?
There is a bonus page!!!
What I thought were just adverts on page thirty are in fact just that: they are adverts, adverts for jobs!!!
Underneath the article about Paul Smith, a software engineer from Harrogate, are some more job adverts! Incidentally Paul found the IT market tougher than he expected.
It is a good thing that I did not throw the paper away... Then where would I have been?
There are Luton Based Opportunities for working at Vauxhall Motors. Sadly, an agency.
Oh pants.
www.graduate-recruitment.co.uk, another agency.
Got Jobs for Graduates, ditto.
Oh these adverts are not so good after all.
PFJ, another agency...
How frustrating is this?
Brand and Brown are looking for a graduate, to join their training programme.
'Send us your CV , together with a 200-word newspaper style article (either fictitious or real) about an aspect of your university life.'
Dear Madam/Sir
I came across your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07, with a feeling like I had just eaten some Sharon fruit for the first time.
You asked that I submit my CV with a 200 word article about my university life.
Here is an extract from a recent project regarding my first encounter with Garrett:
Garrett and I met for the first time at Bath University. I pitched up, with my Mum and Dad in tow on my first day. We all faffed around for a while, before my parents and entourage left me on my own, for the first time.
It was very daunting.
Stuck in a breeze block room, that was so small, it was a lucky thing that I didn't have a cat that liked to be swung.
Bambi-like, I timidly ventured out into the corridor. The first place I headed to was the communal toilets.
As you do.
Garrett was in the toilets/washroom, shaving. This area was shared between 26 student flats. You can imagine the state that this area found itself in after a few weeks. So Garrett was the first person I met in my new adult life.
Garrett; "Alright? My name is Garrett." (Extending his hand)
Me: "Yes I'm ok, my name is Ian." (Shaking Garrett's hand, yes I am a proper adult now.)
Garrett: "Do you want a beer?"
Me: "Well ok then."
It was a bit more convoluted than that, but essentially Garrett and I were destined to be friends for a long time; that was 17 years ago.
I hope that you enjoy it.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
The final, final job is for Head of Global Risk Department with Merchant International.
'A small but well-established corporate security and strategic risk consultancy is looking to hire a new head of the global risk department. The position requires a strong background in the political and strategic risk consulting arena with a focus on emerging markets. The successful candidate will manage a small team of researchers and have primary responsibility for developing new business and restructuring our product portfolio.'
Dear Madam/Sir
I read with interest your advert for Head of Global Risk. I felt a bit like I had just taken a deep breath before a job interview.
I am exceptionally good at Global Risk. Two Austrian friends of ours, Gert and Tina, once invited us over for a game. I lost, but my strategy was very good. I think I was put off by the viener schnitzell.
Anyway, I have attached my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
That is it.
Done.
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