Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Friday 21st December 2007
My computer crashed last night.
I thought that I had lost 3 months worth of failed job applications. It was not to be. Les (of Liz and Les fame) came through a treat. He is a legend, and managed to restore all of the pointless drivel from my little project.
I would just like to mention my friend Garrett. It was his birthday yesterday, and I forgot to send him a card. I have known Garrett for 16 years, and I have always sent him a card on his birthday. This year, I forgot. I apologise Garrett, but I wish you a happy birthday for yesterday.
I still respect Garrett's dad's opinion on Terry Wogan.
I had the day off today to do my Christmas Shopping. I woke up with no computer (see above), and the telly was on the blink.
I managed to fix it.
There was someone today on the weakest link, that looked like an older Billy Bragg. His name was Charles, and he got voted off in third place... Billy, seriously, ask for a copy of the video, he was you in ten years time.
My computer crashed last night.
I thought that I had lost 3 months worth of failed job applications. It was not to be. Les (of Liz and Les fame) came through a treat. He is a legend, and managed to restore all of the pointless drivel from my little project.
I would just like to mention my friend Garrett. It was his birthday yesterday, and I forgot to send him a card. I have known Garrett for 16 years, and I have always sent him a card on his birthday. This year, I forgot. I apologise Garrett, but I wish you a happy birthday for yesterday.
I still respect Garrett's dad's opinion on Terry Wogan.
I had the day off today to do my Christmas Shopping. I woke up with no computer (see above), and the telly was on the blink.
I managed to fix it.
There was someone today on the weakest link, that looked like an older Billy Bragg. His name was Charles, and he got voted off in third place... Billy, seriously, ask for a copy of the video, he was you in ten years time.
Thursday 20th December 2007
Dear Ian
Thank you for your application, but unfortunately the position has been filled.
Best of luck with your search.
Regards
Katy Edwards Recruitment
Administrator Beechwood Recruitment Limited
Katy@beechwoodrecruit.com
I don't believe them, never mind.
Ofgem wanted an Electronic Communications Editor.
'What we offer you:
Salary Minimum £23,500
30 days annual leave, after two years'
They work you hard in the government, you get no holidays for two years. APD 8 October 2007.
The lounge are:
'Recruiting now:
Full time students seeking P/T promotional work.
(Non-students can also apply)'
Have a look at their website http://theloungegroup.com. They are a trendy marketing agency that are targeting the under 35 market. They promote things at Universities and clubs, and their website is full of pictures of bright young things having a marvellous time.
Dear all at the lounge group.
Your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07 left me with a feeling like I had just eaten a sherbet lemon.
I am not a student anymore, but your advert said that I can apply anyway.
I have to tell you that I am 35 years old next August, so I will be outside of your target age range, does this make a difference?
I notice from your website that a lot of your promotions take place in nightclubs. I haven’t been to a night club in years. We prefer to have people around for a few nibbles and drinks. I find that you can’t have a decent conversation in a nightclub, as the music is just too loud.
However, I attach my CV for your perusal and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Digital Designer for Somethin' Else closed on the 15/10/07.
END OF PAGE 21!!!
Dear Ian,
The Lounge Group is a Marketing and PR agency which specialises in the under 35s demographic. While our campaigns aim to target this demographic this does not exclude those over 35s from joining our network of field staff. Although the advert was aimed to target students as we were hoping to recruit candidates for specific campaigns (i.e. those on university campuses) we review every application on its own merits and consider applicants from all walks of life.
It is true that some of our campaigns are held at night clubs but the vast majority are not.
We have closed our applications for this year but will consider your application early in the New Year.
Kind regards and Season’s Greetings
Nic Fine
Operations Executive
Dear Ian
Thank you for your application, but unfortunately the position has been filled.
Best of luck with your search.
Regards
Katy Edwards Recruitment
Administrator Beechwood Recruitment Limited
Katy@beechwoodrecruit.com
I don't believe them, never mind.
Ofgem wanted an Electronic Communications Editor.
'What we offer you:
Salary Minimum £23,500
30 days annual leave, after two years'
They work you hard in the government, you get no holidays for two years. APD 8 October 2007.
The lounge are:
'Recruiting now:
Full time students seeking P/T promotional work.
(Non-students can also apply)'
Have a look at their website http://theloungegroup.com. They are a trendy marketing agency that are targeting the under 35 market. They promote things at Universities and clubs, and their website is full of pictures of bright young things having a marvellous time.
Dear all at the lounge group.
Your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07 left me with a feeling like I had just eaten a sherbet lemon.
I am not a student anymore, but your advert said that I can apply anyway.
I have to tell you that I am 35 years old next August, so I will be outside of your target age range, does this make a difference?
I notice from your website that a lot of your promotions take place in nightclubs. I haven’t been to a night club in years. We prefer to have people around for a few nibbles and drinks. I find that you can’t have a decent conversation in a nightclub, as the music is just too loud.
However, I attach my CV for your perusal and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
Digital Designer for Somethin' Else closed on the 15/10/07.
END OF PAGE 21!!!
Dear Ian,
The Lounge Group is a Marketing and PR agency which specialises in the under 35s demographic. While our campaigns aim to target this demographic this does not exclude those over 35s from joining our network of field staff. Although the advert was aimed to target students as we were hoping to recruit candidates for specific campaigns (i.e. those on university campuses) we review every application on its own merits and consider applicants from all walks of life.
It is true that some of our campaigns are held at night clubs but the vast majority are not.
We have closed our applications for this year but will consider your application early in the New Year.
Kind regards and Season’s Greetings
Nic Fine
Operations Executive
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Wednesday 19th December 2007
We put up our Christmas tree tonight.
Yes, I know it is a little late, but we have been a bit busy recently. We went to the shops after work, as we did not have any Christmas tree lights. I don't think the people in the shops could believe we were still looking for Christmas tree lights. Well, in our house we believe in the six days of Christmas; after all it only takes half as long. Then, we can sit on the bus with Lenny, and buy bread, petrol etc., without being beaten around the ribcage with the aforementioned pointy elbows of the middle classes. Anyway, we were after the plain white tree lights that you can get. However, the only ones left were snooker balls on a string.
We had our work's Christmas Lunch today, very amusing. I had a slight panic attack as we walked into the Toby Carvery. I had never seen so many people on works Christmas lunches; people who were obviously thinking that they would rather be somewhere else.
Christmas, got to love it.
No responses on the job front today, so on we go...
Nature Publishing Group, well by their apply by date.
'No experience?
First Office Job?
You should be a new Graduate with good A Level and GCSE grades to join our busy recruitment office. The work is varied and will include general administrative duties, liaising with candidates and clients as well as answering telephone and email enquiries and you must be able to work on your own initiative.'
You don't need to be a graduate to punctuate properly.
Dear Katy
I read your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
I have to admit that your sentences were a bit long and I think that they may have needed some punctuation but I am willing to overlook this as I would like to apply for your position anyway and have attached my curriculum vitae for your perusal if you would not mind reading it at all.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
FORSTER; too charity based.
The United Reform Church, APDs well gone.
The British Library wanted a project Manager.
We put up our Christmas tree tonight.
Yes, I know it is a little late, but we have been a bit busy recently. We went to the shops after work, as we did not have any Christmas tree lights. I don't think the people in the shops could believe we were still looking for Christmas tree lights. Well, in our house we believe in the six days of Christmas; after all it only takes half as long. Then, we can sit on the bus with Lenny, and buy bread, petrol etc., without being beaten around the ribcage with the aforementioned pointy elbows of the middle classes. Anyway, we were after the plain white tree lights that you can get. However, the only ones left were snooker balls on a string.
We had our work's Christmas Lunch today, very amusing. I had a slight panic attack as we walked into the Toby Carvery. I had never seen so many people on works Christmas lunches; people who were obviously thinking that they would rather be somewhere else.
Christmas, got to love it.
No responses on the job front today, so on we go...
Nature Publishing Group, well by their apply by date.
'No experience?
First Office Job?
You should be a new Graduate with good A Level and GCSE grades to join our busy recruitment office. The work is varied and will include general administrative duties, liaising with candidates and clients as well as answering telephone and email enquiries and you must be able to work on your own initiative.'
You don't need to be a graduate to punctuate properly.
Dear Katy
I read your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
I have to admit that your sentences were a bit long and I think that they may have needed some punctuation but I am willing to overlook this as I would like to apply for your position anyway and have attached my curriculum vitae for your perusal if you would not mind reading it at all.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
FORSTER; too charity based.
The United Reform Church, APDs well gone.
The British Library wanted a project Manager.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Tuesday 18th December 2007
The best Christmas present in the World, ever, I promise.
It arrived today.
From Switzerland.
It is brilliant, I promise you. I can not reveal more. However, full pictures will be available on Christmas day. So after I have watched Queeny, they will be uploaded on to the blog.
I spent the day today out on site, visiting a property in Vauxhall that has had a flood recently. I decided to drive, and was pleasantly surprised that it only took me one hour and ten minutes to get there. It was a glorious drive along the Embankment. London is a glorious city.
I say that.
The A13 was closed on the way out of London, due to someone having a crash around Barking. So I sat on the East India Dock Road having a road race with a bloke on roller skates. I am proud to say that the bloke on the roller skates won. Well done whoever it was that had a crash today.
Two and a half hours to get back to the office.
I got back to the office and some people had been out for a Christmas Lunch. They were still wearing their Christmas Santa hats, how I laughed!!!
One of my work associates, Martin, had left a message on my answerphone. He is a Tottenham fan, and was disappointed when I was recently turned down for their Manager's position. He was going up to Manchester City to watch Spurs in the Carling Cup.
The message was a five minute commentary of Nobby versus Stobby all the way up to Manchester. The final score was something like 26-11! I will try and transcribe the message tomorrow to give a full report.
Anyway, I had better apply for a few jobs. Come on Christine, we are almost there!
The Oldie job has passed it's apply by date. (10/10/07)
Page 21...
Communications Manager for Amsterdam and Brussels for Greenpeace. APD 4/10/07.
The Arch Nemesis. Closing Date 5th October 2007. I didn't want to be their web designer anyway.
THINK want the following people:
Creative Director £AAE
Account Manager/Associate Publisher
Chief Sub-Editor and Sub-Editors
Junior/Production Designer
Picture Editor
Production Assistant
Freelancers - we need you
Dear Ms Boulter
I am writing following your now not so recently advertised jobs in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
I appreciate that I am late in responding, but I would like to apply for all of the positions advertised.
Can you believe I was stuck on the A13 today for around two hours?
I attach my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
How to tv want some people:
'Please send CVs and Salary/Package expectations'
Dear Karen
I admired your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
You have asked that I send in CVs. Unfortunately, I only have one CV, but I attach it for your perusal.
As far as salary and package goes, I am not really that bothered.
I went to a property today, and got so much stick, that I thought I might like to get in a canoe, and go to Panama for a few years.
I look forward to your earliest response.
Kind regards
Ian carpenter
Cultural Enterprise Ofiice: Charity.
Folk, roots and world music development: APD 5/10/07.
Anyway, Spurs beat Man City tonight, so I reckon there may be a drunken Nobby v Stobby recorded at around three a.m. tomorrow morning, I will let you know.
The best Christmas present in the World, ever, I promise.
It arrived today.
From Switzerland.
It is brilliant, I promise you. I can not reveal more. However, full pictures will be available on Christmas day. So after I have watched Queeny, they will be uploaded on to the blog.
I spent the day today out on site, visiting a property in Vauxhall that has had a flood recently. I decided to drive, and was pleasantly surprised that it only took me one hour and ten minutes to get there. It was a glorious drive along the Embankment. London is a glorious city.
I say that.
The A13 was closed on the way out of London, due to someone having a crash around Barking. So I sat on the East India Dock Road having a road race with a bloke on roller skates. I am proud to say that the bloke on the roller skates won. Well done whoever it was that had a crash today.
Two and a half hours to get back to the office.
I got back to the office and some people had been out for a Christmas Lunch. They were still wearing their Christmas Santa hats, how I laughed!!!
One of my work associates, Martin, had left a message on my answerphone. He is a Tottenham fan, and was disappointed when I was recently turned down for their Manager's position. He was going up to Manchester City to watch Spurs in the Carling Cup.
The message was a five minute commentary of Nobby versus Stobby all the way up to Manchester. The final score was something like 26-11! I will try and transcribe the message tomorrow to give a full report.
Anyway, I had better apply for a few jobs. Come on Christine, we are almost there!
The Oldie job has passed it's apply by date. (10/10/07)
Page 21...
Communications Manager for Amsterdam and Brussels for Greenpeace. APD 4/10/07.
The Arch Nemesis. Closing Date 5th October 2007. I didn't want to be their web designer anyway.
THINK want the following people:
Creative Director £AAE
Account Manager/Associate Publisher
Chief Sub-Editor and Sub-Editors
Junior/Production Designer
Picture Editor
Production Assistant
Freelancers - we need you
Dear Ms Boulter
I am writing following your now not so recently advertised jobs in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
I appreciate that I am late in responding, but I would like to apply for all of the positions advertised.
Can you believe I was stuck on the A13 today for around two hours?
I attach my CV for your perusal, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards
Ian Carpenter
How to tv want some people:
'Please send CVs and Salary/Package expectations'
Dear Karen
I admired your advert in the Guardian dated 29/09/07.
You have asked that I send in CVs. Unfortunately, I only have one CV, but I attach it for your perusal.
As far as salary and package goes, I am not really that bothered.
I went to a property today, and got so much stick, that I thought I might like to get in a canoe, and go to Panama for a few years.
I look forward to your earliest response.
Kind regards
Ian carpenter
Cultural Enterprise Ofiice: Charity.
Folk, roots and world music development: APD 5/10/07.
Anyway, Spurs beat Man City tonight, so I reckon there may be a drunken Nobby v Stobby recorded at around three a.m. tomorrow morning, I will let you know.
Monday, December 17, 2007
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